


Territorial

by BunnyHoodlum



Series: NaruHina2020 [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bad Decisions, Cockblocking, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Needs A Hug, Extended Metaphors, F/M, Falling In Love, First Crush, First Kiss, First Love, First Meetings, Friends With Benefits, Friendship, Heavy Petting, Horny Teenagers, Idiots in Love, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Lies, Light Petting, Lime, Lion/Lioness motifs, Love Triangles, Manipulation, Not Beta Read, Possessive Behavior, Practice Kissing, References to Depression, Roleplay, Self-Esteem Issues, Strangers to Lovers, Teen Angst, Teenage Drama, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Tumblr Prompt, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Lust, almost frottage, envy - Freeform, non-consensual video recording
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:47:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22208887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BunnyHoodlum/pseuds/BunnyHoodlum
Summary: I adapted this from my old-ass discontinued doujin 'Stalker Story', but the 'stalker' aspect has been removed. The premise all along was 'First experiences', so that's what this short story is about. There will be two other chapters before it is complete. This is my submission for NaruHina2020's January theme 'Firsts'.As a short story, this is a lot less deep and detailed than my usual stuff, but maybe the last two chapters will change that.Hope you like!
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Uzumaki Naruto (one-sided), Hyuuga Hinata/Uchiha Sasuke (one-sided), Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto
Series: NaruHina2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1598686
Comments: 60
Kudos: 93





	1. Hinata

**Author's Note:**

> I adapted this from my old-ass discontinued doujin 'Stalker Story', but the 'stalker' aspect has been removed. The premise all along was 'First experiences', so that's what this short story is about. There will be two other chapters before it is complete. This is my submission for NaruHina2020's January theme 'Firsts'.
> 
> As a short story, this is a lot less deep and detailed than my usual stuff, but maybe the last two chapters will change that.
> 
> Hope you like!

The three of them had made a pact: No boys until their high school graduation.

The rule was to devote themselves fully to their studies, their future and to each other.

Such a promise seemed more for Ino and Sakura's sake, lest their boy crazy ways dissolve their sisterhood like a sand castle against the incoming tide.

Puberty certainly hit some of them like a tsunami, in other areas than emotional.

Hinata definitely caught the physical brunt of it, and the event had yet to calm down.

She was looking forward to keeping her metamorphosis away from the eyes of her male peers, that was her main objective to getting away from the co-ed environment.

It was much too embarrassing.

But as she sat at her desk, acceptance letter in hand while Ino and Sakura squealed happily at their own letters, Hinata's attention drifted towards the windows where one golden sunshine of a boy sat in the sill.

He made insensitive remarks at Uchiha Sasuke's expense, laughing off the dark-haired boy's irritation until Sasuke got him back good, then it was his turn to sputter and fire back.

But then, due to his overly emphatic finger-pointing, he lost his balance, and Hinata shot up in her chair, her breath catching and her skin flushing cold.

They were only on the second floor, but still!

He clutched at the window sill for dear life.

Shikamaru and Sasuke grabbed him by his shirt collar and hauled him onto the classroom floor, face first. They berated him while he sheepishly laughed it off, his hand behind his head.

Hinata eased back down into her seat, heart hammering a little slower now.

Sakura and Ino made snide remarks about his clumsiness, attributing it to total stupidity, but Hinata was simply grateful the moment had passed.

Everyone has different ideas of wonderful, and her ball of sunshine perfectly encapsulated every bit.

It's fine if they don't see what she sees.

It's selfish, but it might be her only saving grace.

She gazed at her acceptance letter with all the heaviness and reluctance of a permanent contract.

Uzumaki Naruto doesn't know who she is. And for the next six years, he never will.

She doesn't have the stomach to approach him.

She doesn't have the right words to say.

* * *

**_The Lioness joins her sisters to form a new Pride._ **

* * *

Hidden Garden was meant to be an oasis of purity and classic femininity.

It wasn't.

Pads and tampons are passed along during class as freely as snacks.

Girls tweeze their leg hair during lectures.

Friends flap each other's skirts during the sweltering summer heat to cool off.

The ignorant virgins joke as perversely as one's drunk, dirty uncle, with nothing but their imaginations to fill in the blanks.

And PhysEd is a violent banshee battleground that even the most burly of men will not tread.

Nature abhors a vacuum, and in the absence of boys, the latent testerone of the female gender found its way out.

For example, the sailor-mouthed Tayuya in all her abrasive, tomboy glory, had quickly earned the infatuation of her girlish underclassmen who liked themselves a 'tough guy'.

The beautiful, wispy Karui had all the adrogynous appeal of those Takarazuka Revue theatre actresses, and she was a ferocious opponent in kendo tournaments. Her fire and finesse sent little shockwaves of thrill down to the quivering core of her most ardent admirers.

And then there was Ino, neither boyish nor princely, she gained admirers through her kindness, charisma and ballsy attitude alone.

Every girl wanted to be a bit more like Ino.

Just outside the classroom, her fanclub stood herded together, eagerly peering inside to catch a glimpse of her. But then an uncombed head of dark pink barged through their formation, her brown eyes dead set on Hinata.

Tayuya took the empty seat in front of her.

That was Sakura's seat.

Who was late.

Unusually late for the class representative.

Hinata made a point not to look up from her notebook. Tayuya's visits were becoming more frequent. Why? Who knows. She had no desire to ask.

Tayuya stared at her, resting her chin atop her folded arms as she sat in Sakura's chair backwards. She even sat with her legs wide open. Wider than most girls.

"Paizuri-tan," That's what Tayuya calls her, often alternating between 'Pillows', 'Fun Time', and 'Cups'. "You gonna help me study or what?"

Hinata tightened her grip on her notebook. The teachers don't believe sexual harassment occurs between two girls, but that's not the point, is it? It's how she feels that validates what's going on. Still, Hinata endures and doesn't cause a scene.

Because a single glance in Ino's direction reveals that intervention is steadfast on its way. Hinata's savior arrives in the form of petal pink hair and disparaging green eyes.

Sakura clears her throat as she stands aside, arms crossed and hip jutted to the side.

Tayuya flips her off and asks Hinata again: "When're you coming over to my dorm room?"

Sakura briefly touched her brow, muttering to herself, "I can't believe this," She grabs Tayuya by the back of her collar liek she were a bad dog. Tayuya grabbed Sakura's offending wrist like a wolf sinking its teeth around a bone, and they glared at each other. "You better stop pestering my friend, you bitch."

"You better let go of my threads, trash."

Sakura leaned in closer. "I'll go over to the nearest all-boys school and tell them you blow for free. You're a flautist. They'll love that."

Tayuya's face turned white.

She let go of Sakura's wrist and hastily brushed passed her. She stomped out of the classroom, causing Ino's admirers to scatter out of the way.

Sakura reclaimed her seat with an indignant sigh.

Hinata released the death grip on her notebook along with her withheld breath, and she looked up at Sakura gratefully.

Her green-eyed friend smiled and winked at her before turing to face the chalkboard.

As the class settled in, their teacher Kurenai-sensei arrived, prim in her dark pantsuits. She always wore a scarlet red silk dress shirt, matching her eyes and her lips.

She leaned against the chalkboard as she crossed her arms.

"The time is arriving. Have any of you considered what theme to do for the cultural festival?"

* * *

Ah, yes. The cultural festival. A nationwide event that begins on the first Friday of every November. Saturday their classrooms are open to the public, but Fridays are for students, faculty and family members.

Something about this is bothering her.

This will be their first High School culture festival. Saturday will be momentous. Complete strangers, even other boys will show up to check out what they're school and their classrooms have to offer, whether it's a play, a haunted house or a cafe. And surely there will be a draw for a cafe full of 'cute girls'.

Sakura appears distant as they study across from each other in the library. She has her smartphone in her lap, based on the occasional glow that lights up the bottom of her blouse, and Hinata knows she's talking to someone.

"The kunoichi cafe theme sounds like it's gaining popularity." Sakura states offhandedly.

Hinata nods absently, because her attention is taking a walk beyond these walls, tracing her way back to their old neighborhood, all the way to Konoha North where Naruto is surely attending right now.

"But the girls are butting heads over the length of the yukatas. Some want the hems to stop at the top of their thighs, which I think is crass."

Hinata's face warmed at the image of Naruto seeing her in a mini-yukata and thigh-high fishnet stockings.

"M,Maybe to end the deadlock, our c,classmates can choose what they want to wear."

Sakura sighed thoughtfully through her nose. "I thought of that, but then wouldn't that cause some sort of inequality or hard feelings? The modest girls might be more popular than the immodest ones, or vice-versa. It could breed resentment."

Hinata understood what she meant. If there are any girls among them that are 'getting it' outside of school, then that isn't anyone's business, nor should they be shamed or bullied for it. Same for the modest girls much like herself. She wouldn't want to be targeted for being a 'prude' when she's more self-conscious than anything else.

"H,How about a sheer fabric for the extra length?" Hinata suggested, earning Sakura's full attention. "The hem can be th,the minimum length, but then an extra t,two or three inches of mesh can satisfy the modest girls' needs?"

A proud smile slowly bloomed across Sakura's face. "That's brilliant. That might just work, Hinata."

* * *

No one was truly prepared for the hell that preceded Culture Day.

Between painting signboards, designing banners and pamphlets, deciding a menu and making sure the food and tea would be up to snuff, getting the measurements of thirty girls and sewing together their outfits, then redecorating their entire classroom to look like a feudal teahouse, they had no time to rest before the big day.

But that's what Saturday was for. The opportunity to visit other schools and their culture festivals.

But their pact was like cement hardened around their feet as they watched their fellow classmates excusing themselves to roam about.

Hinata wants to leave.

She really wants to fly out of here, too.

But then her one and only wish comes to her, and it's simultaneously a torture and a godsend.

Hinata stands there frozen beside the tea stand, the menu mercilessly crushed in her grip.

_Naruto-kun's here. He's here. He's here. Oh god._

He didn't come alone. Sasuke is as roguish as ever, wrapped in trendy street clothes like he's god's gift to the world. The other girls are gawking and whispering as expected.

Hinata could care less.

Her skinny love isn't so skinny anymore, nor is he shorter than her like before.

He's dressed down in athletic wear, black joggers and a navy blue pullover that reads in varsity font, 'KONOHA NORTH RUGBY TEAM', and he's got the butterfly stitches to prove it. A thin red cut is healing along his left brow bone and there's purple discoloration under his left eye.

She hates the idea of seeing him hurt, or anyone hurt for that matter. But she can't help visualizing his determination on the field, his aggressive drive to win.

They get seated in the middle of the room.

A deliberate choice so that no matter where the girls were in the room, they'd always get a good look at the pretty Uchiha.

Hinata's body flushes hot when Naruto's blue, blue eyes pause over her. Her right hand instinctively moves to cover her cleavage, while her left hand tugs down her skirt.

"'Scuse me, Hinata." say Sakura as she emerges from behind. Sakura heads towards the tea set and begins to pour a drink.

Hinata glances back in Naruto's direction and he's not looking at her anymore.

She follows his gaze and her heart drops through the floor.

He's looking at Sakura.

And so is Sasuke.

So then… which one is Sakura looking at?

* * *

She's in pain.

It's been two weeks since she's seen his face, and she's in pain.

Like how the flowers miss the sun. How the earth forgets its warmth. Even the grass loses its luster, steadying yellowing to a sickly sallow.

The days are getting shorter and shorter, and it doesn't help.

Hinata emerges from a steamy bath, her towel wrapped around her body as she idles herself on Konoha North's social feed. She's looking for any info she can find on his rugby team. Even a team photo will get her through.

* * *

**_A black-maned male has wandered recklessly into the Lioness' den._ **

* * *

"Shit. Wrong room."

Hinata drops her phone. She freezes up, heart hammering her breathless.

There in her dorm room is Sasuke.

Not only is it way past curfew, but boys aren't allowed on their premises.

She can't find her voice.

His black eyes are boring through her skin like cigarette burns.

Her hands come up to shield her chest.

All she can manage is a squeak.

"Can you tell me where Sakura's room is?" He says while shamelessly ogling her.

Hinata doesn't know what to do.

Giving him the right answer will make him leave.

Giving him no answer will, what, cause him to wander around helplessly?

Either way, Sakura is in deep shit for this.

"Y,Y,You n,need t,to get out."

"That's fine. But I was invited into Sakura's room. I swore she told me it was number 110."

No, it wasn't. It's 105. How did he mishear 105 for 110?

"You need to get out-"

"I came here for something-"

"Get. Out. Now. I,I'll tell her you were in no hurry to leave while I,I was in this state! Get out!"

Sasuke sighed and threw up his hands with a shrug.

"Fine, fine, fine. Unbelievable. And here I thought you were looking at me earlier today. Weird."

He turned away and headed for her door. Turning the handle, he slipped out and closed the door none too gently, and she jolted at the sound.

Why did he do that?

What if someone sees him leaving her room?

That conceited bastard, of course he would assume every girl must be looking at him!

Hinata shivers in revulsion, the flame of her ire still flickering.

She hugs herself tighter and hangs her head in lament.

It's not fair.

Naruto was supposed to be the first one to see her in a towel.

* * *

The icy mid-November rain drums along her clear umbrella, her ghostly _teruterubozu_ charm bobbing with every step. Hinata walks alongside Sakura and Ino through the shopping avenue, enjoying a normal weekend.

Sakura isn't like herself and Ino, in the sense that her mother is a file clerk and her father is in sales.

She doesn't have the luxury to shop to the max like Ino. Luckily for her, Hinata is more into simple accessories, or aesthetically-pleasing functional items like a gorgeous bookmark of a classic painting than she is about the latest trends.

It's in Hinata's modesty that Sakura doesn't experience not fitting in. Hinata knows that discomfort full well, and she knows Sakura is more sensitive to that pain than her.

A harsh breeze cuts through their clothes, halting them in their tracks.

They can feel their eyes water, their ears and the tip of their nose burn as well.

"Let's get out of the cold, guys." Ino says, and they follow her lead into a nearby eatery.

It's a ramen shop.

"Irasshai!" Greets the entire kitchen. There's a middle-aged man, his daughter and three line cooks with them.

The comforting scents of savory pork broth, grilled pork chashu and fresh noodles warms them quicker than the steam emanating from the kitchen.

The bar is to the left, consisting of ten seats, while five sets of tables are to the right.

They close up their umbrellas and slot them into the adjacent rack beside the entrance. Then they pick the bar and sit side by side, their shopping bags crowded just below their feet. Easier this way than at the tables.

* * *

**_A pale-maned male now enters the Lioness' den._ **

* * *

Suddenly the kitchen erupts into the same greeting, and Hinata freezes up.

How does this keep happening?

Sasuke, Naruto and a boy she's never seen before show up. This newcomer looks like he was drawn on paper and given life. Compared to his black his eyes, hair and clothes, his skin is stark white.

Hinata is dismayed to be sitting on the far left as she watches Naruto take the seat right next to Sakura.

"Hey, this is cool, huh?" Naruto laughs. "It's like a reunion. Y'know, it was kinda hard to properly talk at your guys's festival. You two were so busy."

'You two'? 'You _two'_? As if she wasn't there? As if she doesn't exist?!

It's not his fault, it’s hers.

He never knew her to begin with.

Ino makes a pointed effort not to speak to them.

Sakura, too, despite the secret language between her and Sasuke's furtive glances.

Nothing's changed, then. Hinata internally sighs in shameful relief.

Her friends still don't recognize Naruto's wonderfulness. She hates seeing him so put-off as he settles down into his seat and starts a conversation with the owner's daughter. But she's thankful nothing's changed.

They don't know what they're missing, and yet she hopes to keep it that way.

* * *

Three weeks have passed since the 'reunion' at the ramen shop.

The rain has given way to snow and Cuffing Season is ramping up as the holidays near.

And Hinata discovers that Sakura has a problem.

Her petal pink friend is curled up on her mauve bean bag, while Hinata sits on her bed and hears Sakura out.

"You know that hanger-on Naruto-baka, right?"

Hinata's lips compressed together hard. Two things in that sentence did not sit right with her. Nonetheless, she gave a stiff nod.

Sakura rocks on her ankles, the bean bag shushing and crinkling from her shifting weight.

"Well, he won't leave me alone! No matter where I go, he’s there too!”

Hinata's fingers curled into fists in her lap.

"How so?" She bit out. Of course she knows ‘how’. If anything, Naruto may not be trying all that hard to bump into her if she’s the one deliberately bumping into Sasuke.

Sakura looked off to the side, blowing a raspberry as if mustering the words was nearly impossible.

"Beats me. Not supposed to talk to boys for two more years."

Hinata can feel her inner fire crackling. She's not mad at Sakura. She is mad. But not at Sakura.

Maybe she should be, though.

No, even if Sakura wants to break the pact, her personal life is no one's business. Not hers, and not Ino's.

If Sakura gets caught, that's her fault.

Hinata decides to leave it all up to fate.

"He's going to get me in trouble." Sakura says and Hinata tilts her head in confusion.

Naruto is going to get her into trouble, but Sasuke isn't? Riiiiight.

Sakura never liked her sunshine to begin with, so who's going to go pointing the finger saying ' _You_ broke the Pact! _You're_ talking to a boy!'. No one, that's who.

In fact, no one was ever more annoyed with Naruto than Sakura.

Is that supposed to be appealing from his perspective? The fact that he got all those reactions out of her? Did any of that really give him hope?

"Turning him down doesn't count as talking to him," Hinata says. "If anything, it's a last resort, no?"

Sakura leans back and observes her thoughts formulating along the ceiling. She then nods resolutely, but it’s not entirely sincere. "However… You know what would be even better than turning him down directly?"

Hinata blinked rapidly at Sakura's defacing of proper logic. There cannot be anything 'better' than respectfully turning someone down in person. Hinata was afraid to hear Sakura out on this one.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if you do it for me, then in a way neither of us are talking to him." Sakura peered at her from behind the round of her cheeks.

Wait, Sakura was sending her out? To break Naruto's heart in her place?

That's awful!

"I,I'll do it."

* * *

This was so embarrassing.

This was so embarrassing.

This was too embarrassing!

Hinata sat alone in the last table inside the Ichiraku, waiting for her sunshine to light up her world. She dressed up for the occasion too, as disturbing as that sounds.

A lavender sweater dress and her thick hair pulled into a ponytail. She hopes she looks cute. Mainly approachable, but still cute.

Somehow Sakura had relayed information to him asking to meet up here. It must've sounded romantic to his ears, because when he showed up, he took a look around.

Then he asked Ayame if she'd seen a really cute pink-haired girl.

"Like, really, _really_ cute! You remember?"

Ayame chuffed in amusement. Her gaze then flicked in Hinata's direction, a hint of pity in her warm, dark eyes.

But was that pity more for her? Or more for him?

"There's a cute one here right now, Naruto-chan."

Hinata stiffened. Her eyes burned with the threat of tears. She frightfully watched for his inevitable disappointment.

He stared at her in muted confusion. But then his eyes lit up in recognition. And his mouth opened with a gasp.

Then there it was: The sulk-inducing, confidence-killing disappointment.

"You're one of her friends." He said. He stayed right where he was. He wouldn't sit with her.

Of course he wouldn't.

He already knows where this is going.

Hinata nods solemnly.

Naruto looks away, not letting his sadness go on full display.

"I see. It was too much to hope for," His dull blue eyes swept towards the bar where his gaze hovered over the laminated menus lining the counter. "Hm. Think I lost my appetite."

He turns around.

He's beginning to leave.

This isn't fair.

He can't just walk away from her just because someone else turned him down!

Hinata slaps the table as she shoots up in her chair.

"H,Hold on! N,Naruto-kun!"

He halts mid-step. He pauses to hear her out.

"N,Naruto-kun… S,S,Sakura-chan… S,She told me s,she… doesn't like…" _you._ But that isn't what she wants to say. "That is... I,It's too embarrassing t,to say here."

She hangs her head in defeat.

But then his footsteps draw near.

And he takes the seat across from her.

"What doesn't she like?" He murmurs.

Hinata's face burns. Even a whisper is too much.

She leaves her seat and approaches his side. She cups his ear and answers him in a quick breath. "V,V,Virgins."

She prays to the old gods and the new gods and everything unknown in between, _Please, please, please tell me he hasn't been someone's first!_

"Huh." He says.

Hinata removes her hands from him and places them against her chest. She wrings her fingers like a wet rag, her heart is beating so fast she can barely breathe.

"S,S,She w,wants a m,man with experience."

She can't look at him anymore.

This situation, this conversation; it's a matchstick light away from self-immolation.

"So… you're saying I have a chance? If I get more… experience?"

Hinata nods so hard and so fast her scrunchie nearly dislodged from her ponytail.

"I,I,I'll help!" She squeaks. Oh, someone kill her now, please!

"Why?"

Oh, what a question. What a magnificent, terrible, humiliating question.

Hinata summoned all her courage, all her breath and said: "B,Because I,I hate to see you sad."

Liar, liar, light her on fire.

Well, it wasn't untrue, but it sure wasn't the reason why.

She stood there, stooped over her own aching humiliation as she waited for his inevitable rejection.

He might call her out.

He might call her 'loose', 'opportunistic', a slut.

He’s been quiet too long!

Hinata dares a peek from beneath her bangs and everything just stops. He’s staring at her, but not in disgust. He seems more surprised, awed even. It’s been four years, and even in the six years they spent as classmates in elementary school, she’s never seen this look before.

She just admitted that he has importance, didn’t she? Importance to her, at least. And he doesn’t hate it. Even though she’s not Sakura, he obviously doesn’t hate it.

He is important.

Has he never considered the possibility?

"You'll really help me?" He says so quietly.

Hinata sniffles and nods fiercely.

She can almost see the dark clouds overhead begin to part. She can almost feel the warm, white beams of sunlight pour down onto her skin, and hear the melodious herald of birds.

Her one true wish is within her grasp.

She could faint right then and there.

His face reddens as he looks off to the side. "Uhm… S,Should we go?"

He wants to go now?!

Hinata nods so emphatically her scrunchie slips loose and whips off in an unknown direction.

She's so dizzy right now. So delightfully lightheaded and floaty.

Is love a thing that makes you drunk?

She's never had a taste of alcohol but she imagines it might feel exactly like this.

* * *

**_The Lioness has broken off from her sisters and accepted a mate._ **

* * *

She thought she'd follow him straight to Love Hotel Hill.

Instead she found herself following him up two dozen floors in a huge apartment building.

_No, no, no, no, no, wait. This is too soon!_

She can't be going to his home right now, can she?!

He opens the door.

She follows him in.

And he doesn't say 'tadaima'.

It's dark inside.

She takes a look around the genkan and there are no other pairs of shoes. Even the indoor slipper rack is lonely.

On pair of green frog-faced slippers and nothing more.

There's no one else here, is there?

It's just him.

He removes his shoes and forgets the slippers. She realizes they are a few sizes too small, and quite childish. Perhaps they serve a keepsake now.

Hinata gingerly removes her shoes and steps up into the entryway.

She's beating her brain like a Yakuza shaking someone down for protection money.

Had she ever seen his parents during the Parent-Teacher meetings?

She isn't sure, and she isn't happy with herself for not knowing.

Entering the entryway, she doesn't see any family photos lining the wall, and the question mark in her chest is growing too large for her to contain.

Reaching the end of the hall, she peers left, finding the den, then the kitchen beyond it.

She turns around and heads down the opposite entryway.

His bedroom door is ajar, the interior is dimly lit. As she draws near, she can see him sitting there on his bed.

Waiting for her.

His elbows are perched on his knees and he’s twisting and wringing his hands.

She hovers in the doorway, eyeing the little details that make him him.

Left of his bed is his closet and his desk, which is crowded with half-complete homework sheets and snack wrappers. There's also a speaker system, a green frog-faced pencil cup, and a black desk lamp.

Up on the wall above his desk is a white and red pennant, in varsity font it reads ‘TKU'. Tokonoha University. Does he want to go there? There's a necklace with steel beads and three blue crystals hanging from a picture nail as well. It’s rather… incongruous to everything else and she imagines it has significant meaning.

Panning her gaze to the right, she sees the window with its blackout curtains drawn tight. He has a plain modern dresser. Atop it is a bulky television, then beside it a thick black gaming console, various video game cases strewn about. And in the narrow empty spaces atop his dresser, a slew of loose change, balled receipts and chewing gum wrappers have claimed their territories, making it seem impossible for anything else to coexist with them.

Beside the dresser is a hamper overflowing with dirty clothes with their caked on stench. If she breathes in too deeply, that stench will cake along the surface of her sinuses as well.

"S,S,So I suppose… the first th,thing would be k,kissing…" She murmurs.

"Then get over here."

She thought she'd never hear his voice like that, husky and so thick with apprehension.

She inched forward until she's finally standing in the gap between his knees.

He reaches up, his fingers brushing along her elbows. His eyes are fixed on hers, as if he’s diligently looking out for any hint of disapproval. Running his hands up her arms, a shiver overtakes her, and her ears swish with blood.

She bends down. She lowers her eyelids closed.

Her nose brushes his.

They bump by mistake, dull pain emanating around her bent cartilage.

She tilts her head to the side, and after a beat he copies her.

Their lips meet in a hesitant poke, as if they weren't sure how their mouths would fit together, and when they pull away just enough to get a good look at each other, she can see that he feels the same way.

That wasn't a true kiss.

But it was nice.

"You're really red." His voice breaks, belying his own nervousness.

Hinata suppresses her giggle, because he’s also red.

"Uhm," He looks away. "Maybe you should sit on the bed with me."

Hinata eyed the empty space beside him, her heart yearning to join his side, to be closer to him, to lean against him.

Or to be pushed down by him.

She steadies her breath and scoops her passionate desires into a mental lockbox.

"N,Not so fast. T,Today's lesson i,is just kissing."

He scratches the back of his head, his bottom lip jutting in deep thought.

He gets up and faces her. "Trade spots with me. It feels passive if I'm the one sitting."

Oh, right. He's the one who's supposed to be getting something out of this. He's supposed to be initiating.

Hinata nods and takes the space he had left. It's so, so warm. She then closes her eyes and tilts her head back. Seconds pass before she feels his rough fingers smooth along her pale cheeks. He cups her face and holds her still.

She can't help but smile, like a love-drunk dope, before the warm flesh of his lips press against hers, and she mewls.

He's going all in, as expected of her Naruto-kun. He's firm, like he's saying 'Here I am. Take it and appreciate me'.

And she will. For forever and a day, she will appreciate him and this very moment.

He's her first kiss.

She's his.

The revelation rings in her head like a bell, like the crystalline note from a tuning fork.

Utter perfection.

He releases her. They both suck in air and stare. Lidded eyes glued onto one another's intoxicated expression.

"Was that good?" He asks, sounding a bit surprised himself.

Hinata licked her lips. "More."

His eyes widened. "'More'?"

Hinata nodded, feeling quite dazed. "Sakura-chan is very popular. She's got... f,five other boys chasing after her." She can't believe she's saying these things. But somehow she thinks it could be true. Sakura already broke the pact. Who knows what's real anymore?

Naruto becomes crestfallen, his gaze dropping down to the side. But then he looks thoughtful. He doesn't look depressed for very long, in fact.

She knows he's made up his mind.

He's never backed down from what he wants, even if the desire to give up is tempting, possibly even cathartic from all the stress ambition tends to bring.

He really wants Sakura, doesn't he?

Hinata closes her eyes lest his sweet face inspires tears.

"Alright, let's keep going." He says, and her heart squeezes and her eyes ache.

But she smiles anyways.

She'll take what she can get.


	2. Naruto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This feels a little derivative of 21 Days, even though, as a doujin concept, this came first lol. I don’t have other FwB fic ideas, so that’s prolly why I went balls out on 21, and why I feel like some of 21 Days is bleeding in here.
> 
> Ugh, I can't upload to FFN atm. :\ Keep getting an Type 1 Error, meh.

Naruto didn't get on a single sports team he had tried out for last spring.

He hadn't the discipline for cross-country running without expending his energy during the first quarter mile. He hadn't the physique for competitive weightlifting. And he floundered in the swimming pool while the other boys in their lanes splashed passed him.

After that he had gotten desperate. He thought baseball was boring but considered the uniform might earn him extra attractive points amongst his female peers.

He was supposed to swing. But he caught it in the nuts.

Then he tried to be a kendo star like Sasuke.

The practice shinai had flown out of his hands, cartwheeled over his head and beaned the sensei out cold.

After that he wasn't sure what else there was to do.

Rugby was the furthest sport from his mind.

Rough and tumbling around with other boys, in short shorts and no cup? Nuh-uh, hard pass.

No, Naruto proceeded to go about his usual routine, muttering to himself how crappy the rest of his high school career was looking. Even though he has no one back home to show his awards to, if he were to ever get any, he knows all his friends are making their parents proud.

Even if something like extracurriculars is difficult to manage alongside homework and college prep, they're pushing their boulders up that hill, over to where the sun gently bathed some unseen promised land.

No such entry for the boy with no boulder.

His normal routine includes a stop at the local convenience store.

He stocks up on instant ramen cups and some beverages, then he heads home where the quiet dark welcomes him.

But that day had been different.

That day three punk-ass students from an underfunded school had approached him. They demanded he hide some snacks for them, gave him a grocery list of demands and he refused.

So they took him outside into the alleyway and they beat him.

Only once the beatdown stopped did the captain of the Konoha North Rugby team approached him. Curled up on the ground like a shivering hedgehog, with his hands over his head, the team captain had offered him a spot on the team.

_"You're actually made of tough stuff. Come to field tomorrow at five in the morning, okay?"_

* * *

He had the ball.

Oh shit.

He had the ball.

The flanker has the fewest set of responsibilities, but that still meant putting in your effort to help support the front row.

Naruto narrowly side-stepped his stampeding opponents, only to be caught by a nest of arms.

He didn't know if he had smacked against a dude's arm, or if the dude clotheslined him by mistake, but right after that Naruto's head ping-ponged against another dude's shoulder and that was it.

His throat closed up.

The world went bye-bye behind a curtain of black.

And his surroundings became muffled, like someone had submerged his head inside a fish bowl.

* * *

When he awoke, Naruto was inside the school infirmary, his head wrapped and a cold compress weighing down on his forehead.

There were aches in places that he felt shouldn't be moved.

But that would mean being stuck here forever.

Other sores burned like a mother, but he was used to it.

Naruto stared up at the ceiling, listening to the analog clock on the wall tick away.

But then he thought to check the time. So he pushed up to sitting and tugged the curtains aside.

3:23 PM.

That mousy classmate with the pearly eyes would be heading over after dinner time, around 8:00 PM.

Maybe with injuries like these, it might take him that long to get back home.

* * *

She's a curious one, he thinks. Curious and confusing.

She has to be a virgin too, in every sense of the way. She doesn't stand out and she doesn't seem the type to fool around recklessly, though perhaps he shouldn't box her into the stereotypical 'good girl' image off the bat.

Maybe she has someone she likes?

Maybe this person also doesn't like virgins.

He'd believe it.

But then, is that actually okay? Or isn't that really a shitty situation?

But then that'd mean his situation is shitty, right?

Naruto trudges along home, hands in his pockets and stomach growling like a waking dragon.

He ponders and he ponders. He thinks about how much Sakura has changed, from being a cute little bossy boots to a leggy stunner. Her in that mini red yukata and thigh high fishnet stockings really got him going.

Most of her classmates were pretty. They were all stacked compared to her, but to him silhouette is key. What man doesn't enjoy a tight, slinky body?

But it seems like she still has eyes for Sasuke-teme. Or his type of look. Or maybe it's more about how he carries himself.

Naruto knows he's more like a golden retriever than Sasuke's lone wolf. Can he even obtain that type of mystique? Would Sakura be surprised if all of a sudden he was cool and mysterious?

Naruto let out a sigh as he sluggishly marched up the steps leading to his apartment.

He compares the lips he kissed last night to Sakura's unkissed lips.

That girl's got a small mouth but her lips are full. Sakura's are pretty to look at, but how good would they feel? Sakura's lips are curvy and a little on the thin side up top, while her bottom lip is somewhat fuller.

Thinking about Sakura moaning into his mouth gets him all messed up, because all he hears are that girl's reactions from last night.

He rolled his head back in aggravation as he nears the top.

He's feeling really confused right now and it sucks.

Is he just really horny or something? Is that what's going on?

Sakura's got an amazing way about her. She's vibrant and self-assured. He digs that. He wants a girl like that to fall over herself for him. Plus her nose is cute, her eyes are crazy pretty, he's sure they got the same vibe. Like, he doesn't understand why she lets herself be so uptight. Does she like it that way? They could have so much fun together!

He tells himself and he tells himself these things, but he doesn't feel any better.

When he reaches his floor, he double-takes. Because there outside his apartment seven doors down is that girl.

His practice partner. 

Whose name he really needs to ask still.

His gaze moves from her face down to her hands and he sees she's carrying a grocery bag.

But she's so early.

And what's with the groceries?

He stops in front of his apartment.

She's not looking at him. Instead she's combing her fingers through her hair over her shoulder and she's looking rather fidgety.

"Hey." He said.

Her cheeks brightened fresh pink.

"H,Hi, Naruto-kun."

Right. She knows _his_ name.

His gaze darts about the breezeway. It's just them right now.

"So, uh… should I know your name? Or maybe you don't--" He's cut off by the way she stiffens. She's clutching the grocery bag handles to the point her knuckles are white. He watches the way she bites her lips, then releases it with a sigh.

He did something wrong?

He did something wrong.

"I,I'd like to get a h,head start, if you d,don't mind. I,I'm sorry for f,failing to give you a,advanced warning."

"Yeah, that would've been…" His face lightened with a realization. "Hold on," He reached into his pants pocket and searched for his smartphone. He then held it out towards her. "What's your email? That way you can contact me for anything."

For anything? Did he want that?

Well, it wasn't like he had much going on right now.

She eyed the device as if it were a booby trap. Then she positioned the grocery bag handles in the crook of her arm before accepting his phone.

She typed in the necessary information and handed it back to him.

'Hyuuga Hinata', it read.

A strangely redundant name considering both surname and given name could be spelled with the same kanji, and he hoped her parents weren't jokesters like that, regardless, it had a softness to it.

He pocketed his phone and offered a smile, but she wouldn't look at him.

She still seemed upset.

Putting that aside, he fished for his keys and opened his front door. He went inside and she followed him shortly after.

The sound of his door clicking shut and his home darkening as he locks the daylight out was like a switch; the atmosphere had changed.

He doesn't know how to handle this arrangement.

He's generally friendly and open with everyone, but something like this is just backwards to him.

Is there even a point in trying to become friends with her?

Won't they be consumed by their future relationships once all of this is over?

He goes into his room to drop off his school bag and undress into a plain white tee and black basketball shorts.

When he emerges, a delicious smell hits him. This apartment has never known a scent like this that wasn't instant ramen or a microwave dinner.

He follows the source into the kitchen and he stops cold in the entryway.

Hinata-chan is wearing a lavender apron. She's mincing chives and chopping pea shoots, which are disgusting, except he smells meat cooking. He knows meat is cooking. He knows the meat will eclipse the taste and mouthfeel of stupid, stupid veggies.

Beside her on the counter is a quaint rice cooker. Steam is timidly billowing through the vent in the lid, but soon that steam will be billowing at a constant pace, as if it's just become comfortable with itself.

The corners of his mouth feel slick. He realizes he's drooling.

"Hey. You're cooking." He wanted to slap his face so bad right then.

She didn't say anything. But he was sure that she was chopping a little faster now, and a little harder.

He hesitantly takes a step back. Knowing she won't respond, he gives up.

"Right." _Whatever._ He turns around and heads for the living room. He doesn't know what he's feeling right now, but he's used to people ignoring him.

Maybe this girl is like a succubus. Maybe _she's_ the one devouring virgins!

He scoffs as he takes a seat at his kotatsu and distracts himself with stunt fails on his phone.

But his irritation won't leave him alone.

He begins to ask the internet questions.

**Q: 'What does it mean when a girl cooks for you?'**

**A: 'She's a nice girl.'**

**A: 'She's into you.'**

**A: 'She thinks you're skinny. Just kidding!'**

Naruto patted down his chest and abdomen, then flexed his biceps. He was objectively skinny. But so was Sasuke. It's like a rule of thumb for pretty boys; they gotta be as frail as the girls pursuing them.

He'd rather bulk up a little, but he also wants to be like Sasuke, except better. He wants to outdo Sasuke at being Sasuke.

Naruto lays head his against the kotatsu as he begins to surf further through his phone.

**Q: 'Why is she ignoring me?'**

**A: 'She needs space. She'll come around.'**

**A: 'She doesn't like you. Take a hint.'**

**A: 'You fucked up.'**

Naruto let his phone clatter onto the kotatsu as he held his palms up towards heaven in utter frustration.

He's not good at this stuff.

He likes Sakura. He wants a shot more than anything. Just a fighting chance.

But he's not good at this meaningless crap.

He curls his arms around his head and he closes his eyes. The painkillers he took from the medicine cabinets at school have finally kicked in and he's dying to relax.

Roughly ten minutes later, the living room is steeped in the good smells and the clatter of plates alerts him to be awake.

Naruto peels himself off from the kotatsu's surface, he gazes in wonder at what she has created: beef fried rice, nothing more and nothing less.

He glances at her apprehensively, as if she might take this away from him if he so much as opens his mouth again.

Her face is pinched in concern and his body warms.

Was she looking at his bruises?

Naruto offers her a huge grin to placate her concerns, and he clasps his hands together in front of his face. She does the same.

"Itadakimasu."

"Itadakimasu."

Naruto picks up a spoon and digs in. The moment the steamy, savory food fills his mouth, his brain just stops, like overwhelming emotions just punted his brain into Nirvana, and his eyes began to burn.

"What the hell. This is so good." He mumbles through a mouthful. He goes for another bite and another bite and another until he's shovelling it in, and Hinata-chan's demeanor has changed.

She's regarding him with a warm, softened gaze and he smiles at her back.

This time genuinely.

* * *

He's sitting on his bed and she's standing between his knees just like before. He realized it's not so bad like this the second time around. If she's the one teaching him, she should be in the active position.

But this doesn't feel like part of the lesson plan.

She's cradling his face, and she's kissing his bruises along his cheek and brow bone.

He's sitting there, letting this happen to him. Because he doesn't hate it, but he also feels strangely, horribly embarrassed.

"Uh, s,sorry," He said. "But what is this for?"

She doesn't answer him. Instead she presses her mouth to his and eases into them into a rhythm. They're bobbing like gentle ocean currents and her fingernails are tracing his hairline before ghosting his scalp with the faintest of raking.

He doesn't understand how he can shiver and feel so warm at the same time, but here he is, at the complete mercy of a doe-eyed stranger.

She pulls away and they both hover in the tension.

She's about to end it right there as she rises to full height, but he catches her wrist and he implores her with his eyes.

This was no different than last night's session.

He demands more tutelage.

She frowns slightly before giving in.

"What's next, sensei?"

Her face flushes bright red at his teasing.

"N,Next is, uhm… o,o,opening our mouths."

Naruto tugged her towards him. She bumps against him. His body freezes for a second because beneath her loose clothes, he detected large breasts, the way they had brushed against his chin.

He tells himself he's a leg man. He's a leg man and an ass man.

But she smells really good, and that softness that was within reach, it stirred the latent greed inside of him.

He can't see her silhouette because of these damn clothes. But maybe she's got a real sexy one underneath.

He keeps his hands to himself. He doesn't want to scare her off.

So she leans in with a peck. She presses her lips more fully to his and he does the same. In the back of his mind, he wants to hold her closer. He wants to thank her even more for the delicious meal.

He balls up his fists. He has to focus on her lips. Only her lips.

As he parts his mouth first, he catches a little squeak and he can't help but smile. _That was really cute._ She tilts her head and she starts the same motion as before. It's much better this way. Before felt like head-butting, but this felt deep. This felt satisfying.

When she pulls away, she's staring at him intensely, but she also looks kind of sad.

He feels like he could fall asleep and have nice dreams.

"I,I should go now." She said.

Naruto nodded dumbly.

He watches her turn around and leave. After some shuffling around in the kitchen, she scurries down the hallway. He hears her slip on her shoes, the way the hard soles clatter against the linoleum. Then there's the creak and the whoosh-bang of the door closing shut.

He tunes to his ears to his bedroom window. He can hear her pattering quickly across the breezeway.

And then he can't hear her no more.

His home still smells good.

The air around him still has her light perfume.

Naruto collapses sideways onto his mattress.

He tells himself he's doing this for Sakura.

* * *

She texted him during lunch asking if she can show up around the same time.

He told her it's fine.

He's trying not to expect too much.

But he's picturing the apron, the hope for another home-cooked meal, and suddenly he's kicking himself.

He shouldn't have brought her to his apartment.

She's probably feeling sorry for him.

Empty pantry, bare fridge, no folks of his own.

But he doesn't want to make her stop.

With a lengthy growl, Naruto begins pounding the heel of his palms against his temple.

Is he really going to keep taking advantage of this?

When he reaches his floor, she's still in her school uniform and his heart pounds in his chest. Hinata's wearing black thigh high stockings. Just above the thigh line is that dangerous area of flesh. Her skin might even be whiter than Sakura's. She's also carrying a bag of groceries again.

He must be desperate.

He must be really, really desperate.

But he wants to hoard her kindness while he still has it.

* * *

Today on the field was pretty bad too.

His opponent got a red card for accidentally clocking him in the face.

The ibuprofen he took was helping the ache in his jaw, so he was putting up with it.

It was really difficult eating the chicken katsudon she made for him, which was depressing, because it was so freaking good his eyes threatened to betray him again.

Today they would take open-mouth kissing to the next level.

She sat down beside him.

He couldn't help but eye the brass buttons on her blazer, the way her school tie curved over the generous swell of her chest. Her eyes were large, as if she were full of wide-eyed innocence, and he realized this girl was an unknown flavor to him.

He brushed his fingertips against the underside of her jaw and he tilted his head. He slowly moved in. First a closed kiss. Then an open one.

He made the first move, tentatively darting his tongue through the part between her lips. Blood pounded in his face upon first contact. How could he describe this? Soft, slippery, oily, tasty.

When she finally responded to him, he couldn't hold back. He reciprocated with twice the strength. She moaned and she melted against him. She tried to match him, her tongue contorting along the backs of his teeth.

But then something pooled inside his mouth. He winced at the metallic tang coating his tongue and they pulled away.

Her eyes were wide in fright. Her lips were smeared in blood.

"Wha--" Blood and spit dribbled down his chin. His hands flew up to catch it all. "Aw fuck!" He slurred with his chin raised high.

Hinata flew off the bed in a hurry. He heard her sprint into the bathroom. He heard her spit up into the sink.

He stumbled to his feet and made his way over.

Peering into the sink, a little white tooth sat along the metal rim of the drain. Naruto sidled around Hinata, then bent forward to spit in the toilet. Bright and dark red swirled around the water.

Naruto then searched his gums for the empty spot. It was a tooth right behind his bottom right canine.

The faucet rushed noisily with water. He watched as Hinata held his missing tooth beneath the running water, the earlier fear replaced by cold determination.

"We have to re-insert this." She said.

"You can do that?!"

"Unless you have a glass of milk in the fridge?"

"What would that do?"

"Keeps it preserved until we get you to a dentist."

He doesn't have any milk on hand. Too many stomachaches taught him he might be lactose intolerant, so he gave up on the stuff.

Maybe that's why he looks this way, though.

He doesn't want to freak her out anymore, either.

Naruto holds his palm out. She considers him for a moment, then places the clean tooth in his hand.

She steps out of the way and Naruto leans over the sink towards the mirror. He tries to put the darn bone back in, but just a touch on his vulnerable gum sends out hot shocks of pain through his jaw and up his head. A thin tear trail escapes the corner of his left eye, and he cusses.

"Think Sakura'll hate a guy who's missing a tooth?"

He glanced up at her reflection just over his shoulder. Her face pinched in worry.

"She might."

Naruto grimaced, but he would not give into those feelings that turn his world dull and gray.

Not again, anyways.

With a sharp breath, he stabbed his tooth back into its home.

* * *

Hinata waits for the day his tooth has fully reattached.

She uses this time to go back to her old life, her old routine.

She doesn't have any extracurriculars. She spends her free time studying.

Right now she's laid up in her bed, gazing at the blank white ceiling as if her mind could project her memories across it.

If she rewinds back far enough, she sees Sasuke, even when she doesn't want to.

Suddenly her phone lights up with a little bell tone. Her heart lights up too.

She shoots and hurries off her bed, grabbing her phone from her desk.

Her eyes ache.

**Naruto: Hey I just realized the holidays are coming up and I'd hate to spend it alone. I'd also hate it if Sakura wasn't spending it with me. So instead of helping me be a good kisser, could we practice other things too? Like how I should treat her on a date?**

Hinata slumps down on the edge of her bed. She catches the tears slipping down her cheeks, first her left eye with the base of her hand, and the right with the top of her hand.

He's wonderful.

He really is wonderful.

She shouldn't keep it all to herself.

That's like if some malicious corporation had enough money to purchase the sun. From there they would charge everyone just from going outside during daylight. The sun's rays are reflected off of the moon. They could charge on any night there isn't a new moon.

Her mind is getting away from her.

She types back.

**Hinata: Of course. We'll practice as often as you need.**

Hinata threw herself backwards. Her head banged the wall. She grabbed her head and curled up into a ball, keening in pain.

Now she has a good reason to cry.

* * *

_She was on the swing at their elementary school. She likes to people-watch from here. Specifically her classmates during recess._

_Sakura's getting picked on again. Now she's crying. Ino shows up. She tells those girls off._

_And for a second Hinata wonders what it would be like to be Sakura. She wonders what it would be like to be worthy of being saved._

_She's over here on this swing._

_Tears dot her knees, soaking into the thick cotton of her sweatpants._

_No one knows her._

_No one knows anything._

* * *

_When class lets out, it's time to go home._

_Going home is the equivalent of going to an embattled country. It's the same as crossing a field of landmines just to reach the bunker known as her bedroom._

_It's a place where no one knows her and no one cares to know her._

_When she makes it to her room, she relies on the snacks she has stored away here and there. She has to change their hiding places, because her father will check. She also has to hide their wrappers in creative ways. The very idea of food inside a bedroom disgusts him._

_But she doesn't want to eat dinner with them. Not with any of them._

_The predictable opening of her bedroom door, no warning, no knock, it does not come._

_Instead she hears shouting, yelling, banging._

_She crawls under her bed._

_She wants to disappear._

_She wants to be someone else. She wants to wake up in their body, in their life._

_She doesn't want anyone to find her here._

_They'll assume she ran away._

_They'll leave the house to search for her, and that'll be her chance._

_She'll run away for real._

_But then the noise quiets down. And she falls asleep._

* * *

A firm knock on her dorm door tosses Hinata out of restless sleep and she finds herself in a cold sweat.

She hurries to answer. It's still early morning, a couple hours before their first class.

She throws the door open and finds Ino on the other side. She's in her uniform already. Hinata supposes she gave up on trying to sleep.

"Oh, this?" Ino gestured at herself. "I camped out last night. Sakura never made it back to her room."

Déjà vu seized Hinata, and for a second she felt herself tossed back to another time.

Ino's father had stood outside their home. The man looked good in a detective's suit. Ironic that Yakuza preened themselves to look better than your average corporate president. Even the cops tried to keep up.

He had asked her father questions about her older cousin.

Her father had slammed the door in his face.

She was supposed to keep her father's secret.

Right now she was supposed to keep Sakura's secret.

She told herself if Sakura gets caught, that's her own fault. But somehow, Hinata doesn't like that. She doesn't want to see these two fight.

That's not how family should be.

"I,I can't say for sure, she hasn't contacted me. But remember th,the last time she stayed off campus?" Hinata was relieved to see Ino's features soften in realization.

"Right. Her dad mini heart attack."

Sakura's dad was older than most of their peers. Her parents had her a little late, pretty much as soon as they felt they could afford to start a family.

Hinata understood Sakura's complaints sounded petty and simple, but they were actually quite reasonable. You can't choose your blood. Sometimes, it's incredibly lonely to find out you don't get along with your parents, that you're fundamentally just too different as people. You're attached and you feel like you love them, but it's not well-reciprocated, and it invites dependency. And when she finally showed some independence, that glimpse of backbone and rebellion, as all teens eventually do, she discovered there was a wall between her and her parents after all. That she can only have a certain type of relationship with them.

Hinata thinks Sakura's complaining about them is the only way she can stay connected to them. It's her only way to express love.

Hinata understands, even if most people don't.

Ino cupped her temple and sighed. "Geez. Looks like I'm gonna skip today."

Hinata's eyes widened as Ino turned away and headed for her dorm.

Hinata peeked her head out. "Is that really going to be okay?"

Ino waved over her shoulder. "There's no way I'll be still awake by third period. You'll share your notes with me, right?"

"O,Of course!"

Ino disappeared inside her room two doors down.

Hinata retreated inside her own.

She pressed her back against the door and slid down.

Some parts of her dream had yet to leave her system. She found herself feeling sick and empty, like she was floating between two different lives.

She has to figure out how to help Naruto prepare for a date.

She hugs her knees and hangs her head.

At least she gets this too. Even if it's a fake date, it'll be their first fake date.

* * *

Hinata has an idea.

She thinks it's a brilliant idea.

Normally she hears this from Sakura, but this time she's telling herself: This is brilliant. You are brilliant.

She will act like Sakura throughout the fake date.

It only makes sense.

He needs to practice how to be around Sakura.

This is how he gets to do it.

So she goes for an outfit that's both cute and collegiate: white chino shorts, thick black stockings, charcoal boat shoes with a gray tartan trim, a tucked-in washed-out floral dress shirt, a simple silver locket and a cream trenchcoat to hide her shame. Err, keep her warm.

She stares at her full-length mirror propped up in the corner of her bedroom.

She sort of wants to cry.

Because this style doesn't suit her body type. All the girls that model this stuff look just like Sakura; coat-hanger shoulders, pencil-straight legs and arms, a sleek body from neck to tight bottom.

Her curves are threatening to pop the third and fourth buttons from the top. These shorts are hugging when there's supposed to be room to breathe.

All in all, she just doesn't look right.

All in all, the designers never had her in mind.

She gazes down to the side. She thinks about how awkwardly the cashier treated her as she rang up her items.

The woman didn't believe she could pull this off either.

* * *

This was the weirdest sort of fun she's ever had, and he hasn't even shown up yet.

She's holding her chin high while she looks down her nose, idling on her phone while she waits by a lamppost. She's trying to invoke a sassy ice queen vibe.

She's seen it with Sakura all the time.

He knows what to expect, too.

If she withheld her idea from him, she imagines it would amount to bullying.

He shows up in a hurry. He's gasping for air with his hands in his knees. He's not even late.

Hinata appraises him from the corner of her eye. He's wearing his idea of winter date clothes.

They're his usual athletic wear.

Hinata closes her eyes and emits a snooty 'hmph'. "Is that really your best?" She can't believe she's not a stammering mess right now. "You think I want to walk around with you looking like _that?_ "

Naruto clapped his hands in front of his face.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! This is all I have!"

Hinata crossed her arms and turned her face away. "You couldn't have shopped beforehand? Which one are you? Lazy or inconsiderate?"

"I'm sorry! I'm really sorry! If we can shop now, I'll be ready! I'll wear whatever you want me to!"

Hinata wasn't sure if she wanted to laugh or sob. To think he's fine with changing himself for someone else. She doesn't want him to change. He shouldn't have to.

_It can't go on like this. I need to rearrange our priorities._

He's wonderful. Truly, truly wonderful.

And she decides that she needs to help Sakura see that.

"Fine! You better be grateful!"

* * *

Naruto has no clue what's going on, but his heart won't stop pounding.

Well, he knows she promised to act like a stand-in for Sakura, but he never thought she would be this good an actress!

They're eating at a fast food place, burgers and fries and all that.

She texts him, as a means of not breaking character, that Sakura will want to be treated at higher end cafés, as she has known little wealth but greatly enjoys the ideas of being spoiled.

But for them, there is no need to spend that sort of money.

And right now, as they sit in a booth, she's giving him the evil eye and it's kind of hot.

"Can you sit up straight, please? You look like a neanderthal."

Naruto straightens his back and he can't stop his lips from quivering into a goofy smirk.

It just makes her look more mad. Even her nose scrunches up in the cutest way.

"Why in god's name are you smiling?"

Naruto chuckles and shakes his head.

"Cuz, I'm having fun. Aren't you having fun, Hinata-chan?"

Pink spreads across her face. She turns her scowling face away from him, and she's pouting.

She's so cute!

Naruto rests his chin on the butt of his palms and he beams at her.

"So you really think she'll like the way I look? Do you guarantee it?"

Hinata glances at him. Her gaze hovers over him warily.

Surprisingly she didn't make him change all that much.

He's wearing pre-ripped blue jeans, a rust red plaid button up shirt, untucked, and with the collar popped. And a black bomber jacket. The jacket is awesome. He would've worn this from the get-go, he just didn't have the motivation to shop.

But as soon as he gets a girlfriend, there will be all the opportunities to do the things normal people do.

Like, take care of themselves and being out in the world.

The most drastic change is his haircut.

Gone are his shaggy, overgrown locks which he swore Sakura would like a guy with long hair, but styled. Hinata texted him his hair wasn't silky enough for styling. That was a slightly embarrassing revelation.

So he got an undercut. And damn did it make a difference!

Hinata's gaze dropped down to her food.

"She should." She said, so quiet he barely caught it.

He wanted to question her, but he kind of questioned if he had heard her at all.

* * *

She was walking him home.

It's supposed to be the other way around, but whatever.

Naruto checked his phone, because Hinata had sent him more side notes.

 **Hinata: So, as you can see, Sakura will only react positively to the 'unattainable' type. The Sakura you've experienced today is the one you know best, and yet she's done nothing but nag you. You have to behave as if you are** **_not_ ** **interested in her.**

Naruto glanced at the pensive girl beside him. She looked a bit worn out.

He decides to respond to her.

**Naruto: Yeah, but the annoyed Sakura is the cute one.**

Hinata reacts to the vibration of her phone. She checks his message and types back.

**Hinata: When we go back to your place, do you want to try being the 'unattainable' type?**

Naruto thought about that.

That is what he's been wanting to be, yeah.

He wants to outdo Sasuke at being Sasuke.

* * *

Naruto tries not to smile.

He tries not to look at her no matter what.

She keeps glancing at him as they sit at the kotatsu together.

He has no idea if he's doing this right. He only knows that he's supposed to not give two shits about her presence.

And he realizes this is weird.

He realizes this is awful.

The more he suppresses himself, the more he begins to remember those dull and gray days.

He doesn't like feeling that way. It took him two years to stop feeling that way.

Suddenly, from the edge of his periphery, he sees Hinata fold her arms atop the kotatsu. She then rests her head and stares at him, a small, gushy smile on her lips.

He's not supposed to smile back.

But that's so uncool.

"Naaarutooo-kuuun." She calls, her voice bordering on babyish. "Are you thinking about me?"

Is this what a lovey-dovey Sakura would really be like?

He wracks his brain, trying to fish out old, old memories.

_Sakura has folded her arms atop Sasuke's desk. She's kneeling down and staring up at him with the most adoring eyes._

_"Sasuke-kuuun. Doesn't my new hair ribbon make look pretty?"_

What the fuck? Does Hinata know Sakura more than he does?

Have they both been watching her this whole time?!

"Okay, stop, stop, stop," Naruto shoots up to his feet, his palms held out in front of him. He makes a 'T' with his hands. "Pause. We're pausing right now."

Hinata lifts up off the kotatsu and stares at him with teary concern. Like a lost kitten afraid she's being told there's no home for her here.

"This is getting freaky," He said, causing her to shrink. "What are you getting out of this?!" She froze up. Clearly he's gone and pulled the floor from beneath her feet. But he really, really needed to know. He narrowed his eyes at her. "Are you… one of _those?_ "

"H,Huh?"

"Y'know, those… those fanatics or something… like, do you have a collection of pencils that you've borrowed from Sakura?"

Hinata slammed her palms against the kotatsu and got to her feet.

"E,E,Excuse me?!"

"Do you love Sakura?! That's what I'm asking! Do you love her to the point of wanting to be her?!"

Her emotions evaporated from her features, leaving behind a blank, sullen girl.

"I,I'll make sure she reciprocates your feelings." She said in a broken hush.

"Huh?"

Hinata gathered her things, scooping them up against her chest.

"Wait, Hinata--"

She didn't listen to him. She ran out of his apartment, as if the place reeked of death.

Her absence fell over him like a lead blanket. He cupped his mouth. For some reason his heart hurt.

His phone buzzed on the kotatsu.

He bent over to pick it up.

**Hinata: I'm sorry, but you actually look like a d-bag. But that's just my opinion. Don't worry. Sakura will definitely turn her head to look at you.**

He lowered the phone to his side, and raked his spiky locks awkwardly with his free hand.

"I look like a douchebag?"

* * *

Fuck.

He doesn't want to feel this way.

He really doesn't want to feel this way.

Naruto's laid up in bed. He's staring at his bedroom door. He's been like this since last night. His phone says it's noon. He's missing classes as well as his friends.

But he doesn't see the point.

Nothing he does is good enough.

He'd be fine if his godfather was still here. The dirty old man would mock him a little, try to show him the absurdity of his wallowing. But he'd never pressure him to go to school. He'd give him company or offer to take him to a movie.

Remembering that someone cared always got him out of a funk.

He doesn't have someone like that anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa-ho… Depressing stuff. Not sure how this came out of my butt, haha, t'was supposed to be only angsty at the climax! This doesn't even match any of my original scenes when this was gonna be a doujin, lol. Not sure how the final chap gonna look either, especially when the physical stuff is supposed to escalate, but discovering the unknown is what makes it fun!


	3. Naruto & Hinata

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just letting you all know... The ending isn't perfect. Rather, it's not the one I actually wanted to write. Also technically this story is over, but there is room for a sequel. Tbh, I am super nervous to post this. I don't think anyone is likeable in this chapter. For me that was part of the fun, but I'm also just really concerned to share this and IDK if that's my perfectionism or what, but I hope this chapter is everything you never knew you'd enjoy. That's what I sincerely hope. On a different note, I kind of dropped the honorifics big time in this chapter lol

**Territorial**

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Chapter Three

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_If the world is a jigsaw puzzle of eight million pieces, it can be a disheartening journey to find out where you are in the big picture._

_Are you an edge piece holding the image's shape together?_

_Perhaps you're a double wings piece that's pure blue sky with just a wisp of cloud._

_Or an irregular piece of peculiar shapes too far drenched in shadows to be understood._

_Young Sakura was surprised to find her shape had fit so well with her new friend, Ino's. For example, every time Ino brought a fashion magazine to school, they'd spend their lunches circling which items they wanted._

_It was easy for Sakura to want things. But it wasn't easy for her to get things._

_Whatever Ino set out to get, she got. But Sakura often felt like she was lying to herself._

_'I'll never get that coat. That bracelet. Those shoes.'_

_When first grade turned to second and second into third, the covetous desire for materialistic items steadily evolved. Now Sakura wanted respect, even though she was barely aware of the concept. She wanted more affection and more attention._

_She wanted to become an object herself._

_Something to be obtained and then worshipped._

_She wanted to feel that from Sasuke._

_But boys didn't catch feels as early as girls did. Despite one loud, blond nuisance who shall go unnamed, who just wouldn't leave her alone, Sakura told herself boys didn't want girls yet._

_It's like what the biology books in the library said: Girls hit puberty at earliest eight years. Boys, as soon as nine._

_Well, she was ten now but nothing was happening yet._

_Finding out Ino was already wearing training bras before her got her steamed, but she bit her tongue._

_Sakura even tried drinking more milk. She tried praying as well, by going to a local shrine and pacing the perimeter one-hundred times._

_Everyone was sprouting up around her._

_And she was still a bud._

_But maybe it wasn't all hopeless. Hyuuga Hinata was still the shortest girl in the entire class. Perhaps she too was a bud that would never bloom._

_Sakura could only hope._

_But then one night, Sakura had arrived to the Yamanaka's residence for their monthly sleepover. The unlikely tag team that was Detective Inoichi and his interior decorator wife could be seen in the modern touches to their stately home._

_It always left Sakura feeling hollow and more than a little green the mornings after._

_Her own parents would always be disappointments to her. Blue Collar disappointments who, perhaps, would've never had her in the first place had her mother not gotten that raise._

_She only exists because the idea of her had finally become convenient. As if her mother had been waiting two decades to finally open that package containing a single precious china doll, because she had finally obtained the stand and glass case to display her in._

_'There,' she pictures her mother saying as she admires the glass display. 'Now I can finally say I have a child.'_

_Sakura hurries up the curved flight of stairs then down the hall to Ino's bedroom._

_She just splurged her pocket money on kiddie makeup boxes and they were going to practice their beauty game._

_She hears Ino's voice drifting through the crack between her door. Sakura wonders who she is talking to._

_"Ino, I'm here-" Sakura's gaze fall upon a diminutive figure, mousy and dull. Hyuuga Hinata is sitting in a corner in Ino's bed, hugging the squishy loaf-of-bread-shaped pillow, the kind with the adorable 'OwO' face and blush lines._

_But, but, but… Loaf-chan is her favorite pillow. She's literally her loafing buddy!_

_Ino is seated on a teal cushion by her low circular table in the center of the bedroom. The ole snack tray is here, too._

_But all of the almond cream Pockii is gone. Eaten. Vanished._

_Could they not wait until she got here?!_

_"Oh, Sakura!" Ino greeted as she got to her feet. She addressed Hinata and excused herself, then Ino was leading Sakura back out into the hall. Ino slung her arm around Sakura's shoulders as they began to walk away, and she leaned in close, her voice just above a whisper. "I know, I know. This is really unexpected, but look... She came home with my dad two hours ago."_

_Sakura's eyes widened. She glanced at Ino, hoping to discover a crack in her mask, something to tell her she was lying._

_Ino looked her dead in the eye._

_Okay, she wasn't lying._

_"What ha-"_

_Ino cut her off. "That's for another time. Tonight is going to be like all the other nights, but with one extra person, okay?"_

_"Then that's not at all like the other nights."_

_Ino scowled at her. "Don't nitpick. Boys won't like that."_

_Sakura rolled her eyes. But then Ino grabbed her by both shoulders and stared down into her soul._

_"Make her feel welcomed, 'kay? Promise me."_

_Sakura blinked rapidly, then stared. She nodded slowly, even though it felt perfunctory and automatic, rather than sincere._

_Because she didn't want to go a whole night finding out that Hinata's shape was more compatible with Ino than her own._

* * *

_Hinata was miserable and squeaky, nondescript and forgettable._

_That's what Sakura came to understand when the girl just wouldn't go away._

_More and more, every time Sakura visited, there was Hinata glued to Ino's side. Sakura wouldn't be surprised if Ino started swaddling the droopy-faced wimp on her back like a baby._

_What was the archetype for a girl like her? Poor little rich girl?_

_Sakura fumed on Ino's bed, possessively clutching Loaf-chan against her as she watched Hinata and Ino press flowers together._

_Just like a rich girl to be dainty and cultured. So pretentious._

_Not only that, but somehow Hinata - the shortest girl in their class - was the first one to reach a cup size._

_This brat has everything and yet she doesn't even appreciate it, does she?_

_The moment they were done, Ino held up their finished scrapbook and admired the arrangement of colors and texture against the layers of clear film. It looked like the perfect bouquet._

_"I wanna show my mom. She'll be so inspired." Ino excused herself, leaving the two of them alone; one lioness growling at the reluctant newcomer._

_"Must be nice to be you." Sakura jabbed._

_"D,Do you really th,think so?"_

_"Oh, c'mon. You've clearly got everything but an interesting face."_

_"D,Do I really?"_

_Sakura gripped Loaf-chan and hurled it at Hinata. It bounced off the back of her head so hard it caused her face-plant the table._

_Sakura's heart seized in her chest. Her blood ran cold, her inner fire snuffed by dread._

_She didn't mean to throw it that hard._

_She didn't think she had._

_Suddenly Hinata began to shift. She gripped the table and pushed up. She got to her feet, keeping her head down, and Sakura felt like she needed to hold her back._

_Hinata hovered there for a moment, as if she had something to say._

_Then she walked out of the bedroom._

_Sakura watched her leave like a ghost._

_Her eyes burned, her nose felt tight and stuffy._

_Her bully Ami and her cronies were never as awful as she had been just now._

* * *

This shame doesn't go away. It cannot be scrubbed, lasered, or white-washed. Cleaning it only makes it spread. It may be diluted, but now it's everywhere.

Sakura only knows how to get by in life by lying.

She's not pathological, rather, much of the things she wants can only be earned through emotional persuasion and other party tricks.

She knows she's pretty, but she doesn't know her worth.

She knows she's intelligent, but she doesn't know who cares.

She knows she's athletic, but she doesn't know if she has the commitment. She's a class rep, after all. The kind of title that screams 'I want you all to listen to me when I speak'.

There've been boys willing to buy her a bracelet or a brand new coat. There've been boys who'd been charmed by her smile, her laugh, her wit.

She lied to them all so she could use the fruits of their labor to her advantage: to be good enough for Sasuke.

And it's been working.

Despite the fact that he never made it to her dorm room the night of the cultural festival, she feels really good about this.

Because she finally has a date with him coming up.

Something simple, something brief.

She's not trying to get caught. She's not trying to break too many rules.

She's only trying to lay claim to what she wants.

But that stubborn shame that won't shake loose; it comes from knowing that herself, her true authentic self, from her brashness to her pettiness, to that uncomfortable itch that only unanimous approval can cure, that she will never be good enough.

Sakura marches up the flight of stairs to her dorm. It's three hours till curfew and she has to mock up tomorrow's announcements.

When she reaches the top, a pair of pale eyes, simultaneously opaque yet so loud with unspilled anguish, they hold her in place and Sakura stares back.

Hinata's brows knit and she offers a sad smile.

Then she turns the knob and disappears inside her room.

Another thing that Hinata has that Sakura wants: the ability to welcome her emotions without losing an ounce of dignity.

* * *

The twenty-fifth of December is a day for couples, while the first of January is a day for family.

Naruto hasn't had a proper New Years in over two years, and he's unsure when he will again.

If he can spend the twenty-fifth with Sakura, then he can pull through another lonely New Years Day. That's what he thinks, anyways.

He couldn't dismiss Hinata's text no matter how he tried. He couldn't even bring himself to delete it. Even if it was spiteful, her words weren't empty.

He had spent four hours self-consciously eyeing his reflection before giving in. He went back to the same generic haircut place and asked if they could fix it. Of course, they weren't quite sure what 'fixing it' meant. Through a steaming red face, he asked if they could help him look less douchey.

He had come out of the store with a neatened crew cut. They even gelled the front for him, and asked if he wanted to buy the gel, but he didn't trust himself to style it as well as they did, so he declined.

He just gave up some of the appeal Hinata had given him to catch Sakura's eye; now he wasn't sure if he'd ever get to spend the twenty-fifth with her.

So much for trying to compete on Sasuke's level.

Naruto had no idea what he was doing when he sought out Sakura in the labyrinthian wilds of the city. Armed with nothing but his badass bomber jacket and his best intentions, he hoped the minimal practice he got out of Hinata would help.

That if he just pulls Sakura in and gives her a passionate kiss, that she'll melt into the palm of his hand.

The twenty-fifth was in five days, and he wasn't going to fail today.

He sussed out the places where he had ran into her before. After that he tried the types of places she might be.

Like those trendy, high-end cafés.

If he's up against five other dudes, he wouldn't put it past her to be spoiled by them, even if she wasn't ready to commit.

If he was a girl, he'd probably do the same.

He's a guy and he thinks the idea of a free lunch sounds great!

He pauses in the middle of the crosswalk, pedestrians gliding past him left and right.

 _Duh._ He remembers. He was hoarding Hinata's kindness until things got too weird for him. He's not even sure what to make of her.

Despite being wounded, she still promised to make sure Sakura would reciprocate his feelings. Despite whatever selfishness she operated on, she was still his declared ally.

Naruto shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and trudged forward.

"Maybe I should make it up to her." He mumbled beneath his breath. Except, he doesn't know a thing about her.

Naruto knows when to spot Sakura at a glance. It's not just her height or build, or the way she carries herself or the simultaneously girlish yet classy clothes she loves to wear. He always looks out for her natural pink head.

Fake pink hair always looks flat or patchy. It's just something he's picked up on after turning heads for the wrong girl, like the golden retriever he was, always alert whenever something familiar moved nearby.

Sakura's hair is like silk. From root to end, it always shines.

So when he happens upon a popular bakery chain, the self-serve kind that always runs out of curry pan before ten in the morning, he spots a tight frame tucked inside a red duffle coat, tight black pants underneath and a milk white scarf wrapped around her neck. It makes her perfect pink hair billow out over the top, and while he's looking at the back of her head, he can picture the way her hair is curling around her equally pink lips.

Naruto hovers there. She's sitting at a table for two, but she's by herself.

He wants to know who's going to show up. He wants to know who his competition is.

How can he even prove that he's better than all the rest? That he's the most deserving of her time? What does he have to offer her as a potential boyfriend?

Hinata only told him what Sakura's type was.

To be told that Sakura wants to be in the active position at all times confuses him. How is he supposed to pursue her while acting like he couldn't give two shits?

Is he really supposed to just sit still anywhere and look pretty?

Somehow that's all Sasuke-teme needs to do.

The patio door opens. Naruto's breath locks in his chest.

Sasuke is walking out with a tray loaded with fresh baked pastries and sweetened rolls and Naruto never thought he'd see Sasuke do anything for anybody.

Sasuke takes the seat across from Sakura, and in true Sasuke fashion, he starts in on their food and doesn't offer her any.

It used to be just the two of them, him and Sasuke, but then things gradually soured. Naruto wasn't sure if it was Sasuke who was unrecognizable or it was himself, because once Naruto finally got better, it was like returning home only to find all your possessions had been robbed.

Naruto tried to be the same, but Sasuke wasn't interested. When it came to the cultural festival and Ichiraku, he acknowledges that such moments were mere lip service to the old days.

Friends in appearance. That's it.

So Naruto continues to stand there. Rooted in place. Watching this dreaded scene unfold.

It's not until the two lean in for a peck that reality shakes him loose from his denial.

Was there really five guys vying for her attention?

Or did Hinata mean that Sasuke was five times the man he'll ever be?

Naruto sucks air through his nose. Short and quick intervals. The saliva in his mouth has thickened and his throat refuses to open up for smooth passage.

The peck is chaste and short-lived.

The way Sakura remains leaning forward and looking up, Naruto can imagine her moony gaze.

Sasuke isn't smiling.

And it pisses him the fuck off.

* * *

Naruto returns home.

He didn't want to dwell on what he saw, what he knows, but he did anyways.

It looms over him from behind, haunting him, reminding him that he's not good enough. That he'll never be good enough.

He sits on the edge of his bed, holding his head between his knees and he's shaking.

By omission, Hinata had lied to him.

But she promised him, too.

Despite what she knew, what she withheld from him, she still promised him that Sakura would be his.

But he's not interested in stealing her. He wanted to be chosen. What's it matter if she actually leaves Sasuke for him? That's not going to make him feel better about himself.

So what's the point now?

Naruto picks up his phone from his desk and unplugs it from its charger. He reclines in bed and opens Hinata's text thread.

**Hinata: I'm sorry, but you actually look like a d-bag. But that's just my opinion. Don't worry. Sakura will definitely turn her head to look at you.**

His fingers tighten around his phone, he jaw clenches sideways. He can feel heat pool in his chest. It spreads out, gathering in his face and hands.

He's just everyone's favorite fool, isn't he?

**Naruto: can you come over plz? I need you.**

He didn't think about how that might sound.

But at least he wasn't the one lying here.

* * *

She appeared in a whirl of wind-mussed hair, panting for breath and a little wild-eyed, and Naruto felt like the one displaced. Like he was actually the least genuine person here.

He glanced down to find she had arrived with groceries. Again.

"I,I,I wasn't s,sure what you n,needed, but I wanted t,to be prepared."

Naruto gave her a cock-eyed stare.

"What, do you really think I can't cook?" Maybe he can and he just doesn't want to. She ever consider that?

Hinata ducked her head a little. "Y,You never offered t,to help."

Naruto turned around and retreated into his apartment. He heard the obligatory 'pardon the intrusion' phrase as she crossed the threshold and closed the door behind her.

Naruto took a seat at his kotatsu and slouched over it. Nothing could stop the heat building in his limbs, the way his irritation crackled like two shards of flint striking against each other.

And there was no appropriate outlet for his blackened feelings, either.

Hinata spared him a worried glance as she entered the living room. She then proceeded into the kitchen, as if this has always been their routine.

He hears drawers slide open and shut closed, and cabinets quietly banging. To think she's this comfortable that she can help herself like this. Then again, it's her kitchen supplies that she's left here. As if he has any use for them.

Because he doesn't cook.

And he can't offer to help if he'll only get in the way.

Lie Number One for Naruto.

Guess that's a first.

When the apartment fills with cozy, delicious smells again, he begrudgingly feels his irritation sap away.

He taps his forehead against the kotatsu. He won't give in. This is a bribe. By 'prepared', she meant for herself. So that he'd be pliable to her manipulation.

He begins to bang his head harder.

Something drops to the kitchen floor.

Two small, warm hands rest against his forehead and upper back, and it's like she caught him in mid-air.

"Wh,What're you d,doing?"

Naruto stills. He tries to swallow.

He leans away from her and she takes her hands off him.

"Stop cooking." He muttered.

"It's al,almost done."

"I don't want any."

Hinata stands up.

She returns to the kitchens, and he figures she's trying to finish up.

Minutes later she returns empty-handed and she sits down adjacent of him, her hands formally folded over her lap.

"I,It's cooling off f,for now. I,I'll be sure t,to put in the fridge b,before the four h,hour mark. Y,You can eat it later."

"Stop babying me. I never asked you to."

Her right hand reached up to her ear and she began to comb her fingers through her thick locks. She's brushing it over her large chest, which is now confirmed to be larger than he initially thought, because she's wearing a ribbed turtleneck and he can't stop the way his breath catches in his chest when he watches how they swell. She's breathing deeply. She must be anxious, but somehow it's just putting him in the mood.

She doesn't ask him what's so obviously on her mind, so he begins in full bluster.

"You can't get Sakura to spend the twenty-fifth with me, can you?"

"H,How come you c,cut your hair? I t,told you. Sh,She likes t,trendy guys."

Naruto snapped his snarl in her direction. "You said it looked douchey."

"I h,have n,no control over S,Sakura's p,poor taste."

Wow. He really had nothing to say to that.

Naruto turned his head to stare at the age old scratch marks along the kotatsu's surface. The old man failed to wrap his furniture between moves, seeing how random the lacerations in the wood were.

_Sakura's poor taste. Hm._

"So what's that say about me?" He gave Hinata a sidelong stare.

"I,I don't understand."

"You believe she has poor taste in guys," _Liar, liar, liar._ She knows about Sasuke. She's just sucking up to him by putting Sasuke down. "What's that say about me liking her so much?"

Hinata's gaze lowers to her lap. Her countenance droops. And she's quiet.

"... Sakura is… intelligent, hard-working, cute and… a,at times she's a work in progress… b,but on her best days, she can be extremely loyal," Her eyes closed. "I,I think you have great t,taste, N,Naruto-kun."

She barely stammered the whole time. Naruto has to assume she meant every word.

"So you do love her."

Her eyes snapped open, her red face rose up to meet his.

He corrected himself. "Not in the way I suggested the other day. And I'm…" He looked away. "I'm sorry about that."

She nodded as her blush began to calm.

Naruto deflated against the kotatsu with a drawn out sigh.

"I really can't figure out how much of this arrangement is for yourself or for Sakura, but-"

"N,No!"

Naruto glanced up with startled eyes.

"'No' what? Are you really trying to tell me you're doing this from the goodness of your heart?" Naruto let out a scoffing chuckle. If only she knew the resentment he harbored for the world, not that he enjoys letting it get to him. No, he actually resents the world more for it. Talk about the snake eating its own tail.

Hinata is squirming on her heels. He can see her rapidly blinking back tears, and he's sure this is humiliating for her.

For whatever reason.

"M,My life i,is what it is. I,I can be happy kn,knowing… th,that I've m,made you h,happy, e,even if it's th,through Sakura. I,I can a,also be happy if sh,she is i,in a better p,place e,emotionally."

She's serious right now, isn't she?

She stammered like crazy that time, but he doesn't think she's lying.

Her eyes met his, he froze. Determination and quiet despair radiated from her gaze all at once, and he'd never seen such a noble expression before.

"P,Please, Naruto-kun. I'm counting on you t,to make Sakura feel whole inside."

Sakura doesn't feel whole inside?

But she's always… No, no, that makes sense. She's been putting on a brave face. Just like him.

His chest warms, but this time it's not from anger.

He can't help the small smile that tugs at his lips, because he feels justified.

He knew all along that they belonged together.

Naruto leaned away from the kotatsu, humming as he stretched his back. He then laced his fingers behind his head and laid down on the tatami.

"I still don't know how you're going to pull this off."

She was with Sasuke. Surely they've got plans.

"I,I'll t,text you wh,where to meet up o,on the twenty-fifth."

Naruto narrowed his eyes at the ceiling.

Her ominous statement just proved everything: Hyuuga Hinata was an omniscient puppet master.

But what should he care if he had this powerful ally in his corner?

Naruto gave a resolute nod. "I won't let you down, Hinata-chan."

With those words from his mouth, Hinata excused herself and got up.

He watched her head into the kitchen.

Where she stayed for a good hour.

* * *

The moment Naruto got up to check on her - lack of noise will drive any man to worry - Hinata had gone from hunched over the kitchen counter to moving about like a spaz.

She hurried to pack up his food as promised, and he just watched her.

If she's his sworn ally, then he should be hers too.

Naruto approached her and laid his hand against her shoulder. She flinched away, and his heart dropped.

"Uh, sorry," He returned his hand to his side. "Uh, y'know, the day after the first… I mean, when we first kissed, I thought… maybe you were using me to get some practice in yourself."

Her eyes widened.

Naruto continued. "So, if that's the case, I'm not judging. In fact, I'm really curious who you're after. Maybe you'd like some advice from a male's perspective?"

Her eyes immediately narrowed to slits and he was scared.

Scared that he was going to piss her off even more than last time.

And he just got her here too!

"What a,advice d,do you th,think I need?"

Shit. Her voice practically cut him like a razorblade.

Naruto inhaled a chest full of courage and proceeded to potentially dig his own grave. "Well, for starters blunt bangs aren't actually attractive. You look like you're trying too hard to be artsy, also you like a doll, like the ones on Girls' Day. At least try to style it. But your turtleneck is pretty hot. I think you should wear tight sweaters more often. I can tell your waistline is really amazing, and-"

She had gone from livid and upset to confounded, and her own cock-eyed stare made him shut up.

She reached behind her head and pulled her long hair over both her shoulders, obscuring her breasts and their swollen outline. He saw how the edges of her face trembled, and she rushed passed him before he could catch her unease.

"Wh- Hinata-" He jogged into the living room after her.

"Enough," Her voiced scraped over a dry throat as she hurried to grab her things. "I need to go."

He couldn't believe this scene was playing out again!

She scampered into the hallway and he chased her down into the genkan. He kicked her shoes away and slammed his palms against the door, pinning her place. He heaved for breath in the airless tension, not due to exertion but because his nerves were shot.

He never noticed till now how much he hates people running out on him.

There's no telling if they'll ever come back.

"Can,Can we be friends, or something?" He asked. "Can I be on the same level as you here? Tell me you like someone. Or tell me I'm wrong. But just tell me why you offered to go all the way with me. I'm willing to rely on you, but I'm kind of starting to feel like I don't know what I really agreed to. Does that make sense?"

All he can see is the top of her glossy head.

"... I don't like anyone." She whispered, her voice softly crackling like tissue paper.

"You don't?" He parroted back in a flat tone, as if confirming he heard her correctly. He feels like he's staring down a wilted black lily, shrivelled and dull. He doesn't understand her at all. "Okay… so then, why?"

"I,I t,told you… S,Sakura p,prefers someone wh,who can fulfill her i,in every fa,facet."

Meaning, be a stylish and aloof pretty boy who's a good kisser and an even better lover. To think Sakura would be the type to dump anyone who didn't give her fireworks the first time around. The extent of her expectations does leave him a little weary.

But this girl… This strange, evasive girl…

"So… this is just a logical choice for you? You don't get anything out of it?"

Her arms came up around her middle and she hugged herself. He witnessed a smirk, but it was hollow and sad.

"Why do I,I h,have to g,get anything of it? What's that i,information g,going to do for you?" Her head craned up a little ways, and her large innocent eyes regarded him from beneath the curtain of her blunt bangs. She seemed fearful, like a fawn pleading with a mountain lion. "Do you really feel like I'm using you?"

No, he can't forget she's the puppet master here.

It's reverse psychology. She's trying to make him feel bad for accusing her of taking advantage of him. If he dismisses this now, the subject is sealed, never to be brought up again.

Time to turn it all back on her.

Naruto leaned in close until he could smell the hint of jasmine in her shampoo. "You say you don't like anyone, and maybe that's true. But you can't show up looking so good and expect me not to notice. I wonder… did I pull you away from something important?" He crouched down so he could be eye level with her and she stared back at him apprehensively. "You already have a boyfriend, don't you?"

"No. I,I don't."

She's lied before. Of course she wouldn't cop to cheating on her boyfriend.

Should he feel proud that she'd choose him over her boyfriend? Did that make him a shithead or was that completely normal?

No, forget it. He shouldn't enable a cheater, if she is one.

Naruto closed his eyes and clicked his tongue, his upper lip curled in annoyance.

"Hinata. You _have_ to be getting something out of this. Even if you're just pitying me, or if you're really putting all your bets on me to steer Sakura away from douchebags, I just can't understand you sleeping around for the sake of your friend. I really don't get it."

"Wh,What m,makes you th,think I w,would have a b,boyfriend?"

"Because…" Naruto gazed at the floor. "You know how to cook? And you've got a huge rack?"

"A,A,Are y,you going t,to keep insulting me?"

He looked her straight in the eye. His patience was getting thinner by the moment, and evidently so was hers. The very last of her patience was running in rivulets down her face.

How come they can't seem to have a normal conversation?!

"How am I insulting you?! These are facts, okay?! Straight facts!" He was getting tired of that withering stare on her face. Girls always made him feel so dumb when they looked at him like that. "What?!"

"I like being used." Each syllable had been drawn out, like a knife ghosting his skin.

Naruto's hands came away from the door. He backed away, his heel bumping into the edge of the genkan.

He asked for an explanation. Something. Anything. And yet those words didn't make sense to him either.

She just can't be the type.

She dresses so plainly usually, even now she's relatively modest. It's her breasts that are so obscene.

But he barely knows her.

So it could be true.

His gaze moves over her body as if he can see the phantom handprints that have sampled her and he distances himself further from her.

Hinata begins to slip on her shoes. She rearranges her bag on her shoulder and spares him an unfeeling glance.

"O,Out of all the d,disgusting things you've had t,to say about me… you never c,considered th,that one, did you?"

She turned the knob and escaped, making sure to slam it hard, as if to let everyone know she exists.

* * *

She likes being used?!

She _likes_ being used.

Is that a fucking joke?!

Naruto continues to stand there in the hallway, staring at his front door as if the answers to life's questions would come walking in.

But no.

It never does.

It can't be true. She's got to be messing with him. She said it to top all the other crap he's been assuming.

Naruto scratches furiously at his scalp, growling in aggravation over how easily he's made the fool.

Nobody ever takes him fucking seriously.

Somewhere deep down he'd been beginning to hope she was different.

But she's not going to be real with him.

So maybe he should just leave it alone.

Grumbling with his hands in his pockets, he drags his feet towards the kitchen.

"If she won't tell me her real feelings, then she ain't got any."

He says this, but when he opens the fridge and looks at the food waiting inside, when he takes a look at the washed dishes airing out on drying rack beside the sink, when he thinks about how she delicately kissed his bruises the other day, his heart slowly, slowly sinks.

What if she really likes being used?

What if she doesn't care who does it?

What if he's nobody to her?

She's vetting him for her friend. She's shaping him into a proper man. That's what all this is. It's a win-win situation.

So why does he feel more upset than ever?

She shouldn't have said that to him.

It was spiteful. Shameful. Just another lie atop the mountain she keeps building beneath herself. Soon she'll be so far up, so out of touch with the real world below.

Hinata is taking the train back to Secret Garden, where she plans to hole up in her dorm like an agoraphobe.

She's strangling the strap of her bag in her hands. It's the best she can do to distract herself from the knots forming in her stomach.

Her brows knit as she replays the look on his face as she left.

Her heart thuds, the aches are compounding and she sighs at length.

This is such a mess.

She's really gone and made a huge mess.

But she's not important to him, so it's okay. Even though he asked to be friends, there was no way she'd endure this torture any further.

She'll keep her promise to him. He'll be happy. Sakura will know the love of a genuine man. And as for herself, well, she can wash away some of her guilt. She can feel like she's useful, like she's capable of positive change.

Keeping her father's secret had been like poison, one fed into her like an IV drip, slowly killing her over time.

Until Inoichi absolved her of the burden.

She never had to open her mouth.

Everything worked out just as it was supposed to.

Part of her still wishes she had spoken up. Part of her still feels like a coward.

This will make everything right.

In the meantime, she still intends to collect her keepsake from him.

Even if they end up jumping down each other's throats, even if their sensitivities act out against their will, scratching and poking and pinching until their nerved are frayed and egos bruised.

Next time if he pushes her away, she'll make sure he's pushing her down instead.

At least then, he can't get any wrong ideas.

If only that could be said about a certain Uchiha who happened to be taking the route as her, who happened to be lined up in the exact direction she was spacing off towards.

She hadn't the faintest awareness he was there.

When the train arrives at her stop, she glides through the doors like a fish re-entering the salty ocean, and she makes a beeline for the karaage wrap stand in the food court. She regrets not being able to share another meal with him, but she understands his feelings to an extent.

She's been coming off too strongly in areas that are not relevant to his training.

Of course he would be annoyed.

She stands in line behind four other people. A dark and immaculate presence falls behind her. The line moves, one by one, until it's her turn. It's not until she turns around with receipt in hand that she notices him, and her heart jumps out of her chest.

She stills, Sasuke's flinty stare causing her heart to stop.

Could it be possible… Does he know she's trying to keep Sakura away from him?

"I've never seen you on this route before." He said, like he suspected her of wrongdoing.

"M,My school i,is here."

"You take the stop from our old neighborhood to get here?"

Oh, that's what he meant.

Hinata straightened her back and smoothed out the wrinkles along her belly. She looked at him evenly. "Th,Then what b,brings you a,away from our old neighborhood?"

Sasuke crossed his arms and stepped out of line, not once did he take his eyes off of her. He was like a gray wolf sizing up his prey.

"Four years is a long time. I doubt you were feeling nostalgic. Unless you're secretly a masochist."

Hinata blinked rapidly against the stinging in her eyes.

Why would he know anything about how things were for her back then?

"Number twenty-eight!" The cashier called from the food stand.

Hinata turned her back on Sasuke and accepted her food from the cashier, bowing in thanks. Her stomach squelched as the savory smell of deep fried chicken thighs hit her nose. The glistening brown coating and steam practically wrapped like two warm arms around her, giving her an encouraging squeeze.

But before she made her leave, she paused and looked at him from over her shoulder.

"Sasuke-kun, this concept m,may go over your head, b,but someday maybe you'll understand: Nobody ever gets what they w,want. The s,sooner you accept this fact, the b,better off you'll be."

Hinata stalked off knowing full well she had just declared war over Sakura's well-being.

And Hinata aimed to win.

* * *

He quit the Rugby team. The captain stopped short of shrugging and gave a half-hearted 'Sorry to hear that'.

Naruto had hovered on the edge of the field for some time, wondering if one of those sappy scenes out of sports animes would play out; but none of his former teammates spared him a glance. They continued with practice as if he'd never been there to begin with.

He tells himself they got used to his time away.

"Back to being part of the 'Going Home Club'." He sighed as he departed school grounds.

He hasn't noticed, but Hinata's been on his mind more than Sakura ever has. If anything, Sakura seems more like a convenient excuse to think about Hinata.

 _So this is killing two birds with one stone,_ he thinks. Not only is she vetting him and grooming him for her dear friend, but she's getting a thrill out of this one-sided situation.

When he makes it home, he sits in the hallway facing the front door, and he replays yesterday, from her cold eyes which looked right through him, to the way her lips moved when she told him: _"I like being used."_

How many guys does she see a day?

How big is her contacts list?

Does she give them code names?

What would his be?

Naruto collapses on his back and gazes up at the ceiling. He feels like he's in a box, one with no air holes poked through. His heart is beating so hard it feels like it could break his ribs.

After this… after Sakura becomes his girlfriend, Hinata will move on, won't she? Rather… if he decided he liked her too, because that's what this pain usually means, wouldn't she be disgusted with him? It wouldn't be any fun for her if he reciprocated, would it?

His hands settled over his face. He breathed through his nose slowly. Once, twice, a third time. He sees her hand-in-hand with a much taller guy, a third-year maybe, and they're outside a Love Hotel. He breathes a fourth time, a fifth time, a sixth. Now she's pinned to the oversized bed. Now she's moaning while he pulls her hair and pounds her from behind.

His breathing quickens. And he recognizes this quickening. He needs to control himself.

When he reaches for his phone and texts her, that's not controlling himself at all.

That's utter abandon of his dignity.

* * *

She appears in front of his door like an illusion.

Bangs swept to the side. High-waisted black jeans. A fitted lavender sweater, fuzzy in texture and slightly cropped above the waistband.

She's never dressed like this for him.

That's right.

Because this wasn't meant for him.

She took his advice, and he pulled her away from her latest conquest.

He steps aside to let her in. She doesn't have food on her this time. He wonders if she knows what lesson he wants today. Cooking would have cut too much time out of their session.

"I can't accept any more lessons once Sakura's my girlfriend, so you're going to have to teach me a lot in a short amount of time." His eyes trace the length of glossy black hair. It's super straight as it runs down her back, winding down into curls that end at her waist. He watches how they sway and bounce with every step deeper into his home. He also can't ignore the way the seams of her jeans reveal the true shape of her bottom; like an upside down heart.

He swears life hates him.

She pauses at the end of the hall, as if she's contemplating entering the light of the living room, or the secluded darkness of his bedroom.

"S,S,So... Wh,What would y,you like t,to practice t,today?" Her voice is soft, laced with apprehension. It sinks into his bloodstream like a syrupy poison, and it hurts so good.

He's drawn to her.

He's repulsed by her.

He wants to hide her from the world.

He wants to exist with her in a way that's special, a way that is different from all the other guys.

His hands float over the edge of her waist, anticipation crawling beneath his palms.

He can feel her heat emanating from the crevice of exposed skin, and he wonders if he can bottle it up and keep it by his bedside.

"Touching," He finally said, having arisen out of his stupor. "Show me how girls like to be touched."

Her right hand reaches for his, and he lets her lead him to the bedroom.

* * *

They're hip to hip, his hands cradling her face, her hands resting against his collarbone, and they're kissing deeply, tongues swimming in the warmth of each other's mouths.

He's breathing loudly through his nose like she's his only source of oxygen.

She's moaning faintly, so faintly that he's straining to collect her approval in his ears, but he doesn't have to strain to swallow them. Her voice vibrates like a purr and he scoops up the base of her head and forces his tongue deeper down her throat.

When he pulls away, she's glistening, gasping, her skin flushed from neck to ear.

His lips threaten to betray him with a goofy smile. But his discomfort is never too far from his mind. Still, she's enjoying herself, isn't she?

Naruto strokes the side of her head contemplatively. She gazes at him in question. Is he being too tender for someone who only wants to use her?

"What else?" He rasps. He can't afford to let his emotions creep onto his sleeve.

Hinata's hands rest atop his. She closes her eyes as she moves his hands down her body, placing them over the generous swell of her chest.

He's so happy she's wearing this now. Even if it wasn't meant for him, it amplifies her softness.

He presses his palms against her in increments. Her breath hitches.

He flexes his fingers and squeezes. She trembles.

"I thought big breasts weren't as sensitive as smaller ones."

She doesn't reply. A moan gets stuck in her throat as his thumbs find her nipples beneath her sweater. Her bra must be so thin.

He wants to get carried away like those men in the videos Ero-jiji had stashed away. He wants to be more vigorous, he wants to grip and smush her breasts together like he owns them.

But he doesn't own her, though. No one does.

He's just borrowing her for a bit.

"C,Can I go _under_?" He asked, waiting for her permission.

A curt nod and he sucked in a sharp breath.

He's sampling used goods, and yet, somehow that makes her that much more valuable. His pants are choking his crotch but he doesn't want to remove his hands for a second.

His fingertips brush against her feathersoft skin and she flinches as though he'd burned her. He slides up beneath her sweater, revealing more and more cream white skin, and she's shivering.

"Now what?" He asked.

She draws a shuddery breath, and cups his hands again. She begins to show him the motion, circular like a tender massage, and he maintains the rhythm even after she takes her hands away.

He's so engrossed in her body that he doesn't notice where her hands have gone. Not until a firework of pleasure pops in the back of his head.

He labors for breath as she rubs against his hardness from atop his uniform pants and he can't take it.

This is the first time a girl's touched him.

It's his first time receiving pleasure.

* * *

Her sweater is pulled up, and his mouth is greedily suckling her left breast over the edge of her bra.

Her skin is like damp silk against his face. Her airy scent is driving him crazy.

He's making her left breast slippery with his tongue. He's relishing the little squeaks and moans when he gives her a little love bite.

Naruto tilts his head and closes his mouth over the top of her breast like a leech.

A good bite and a hard suck there, and her delicate skin turns red.

His breath seizes in his chest.

He wants to make it darker.

He wants to make it darker.

He wants the other guys to know that he exists. He wants to be her favorite amongst them all.

"Don't." Her hands push at his forehead and she takes a step back as she crosses her arms over her chest. She looked to the side, embarrassment knitting her brow.

The ache returns. It's like it's just stomping on his chest. He should know. He's taken a beating before.

"Please." That word came out on its own and he couldn't take it back.

He exists, dammit. Just let him show everyone that he exists. He's not a secret. She doesn't have to be ashamed of him. She believes in him to make Sakura happy. That means she believes he's worth something, right?

She reached for the front clasp, the motion causes her breasts to push up. Her bra came undone. Flushing brightly, she peeked at him from beneath the fan of her lashes. "Y,Y,You c,can't p,plead with S,Sakura, o,okay? Sh,She won't l,like that."

She parted the cups. His saliva thickened in his mouth.

He was amazed to find her breasts didn't sag as much as he expected. They were gorgeously round, immaculately white.

The perfect canvas for his teeth.

He reached for her and pulled her in. Her hands clasped over her mouth. She shivered.

He poked his nose between the valley of her breasts. He inhaled and laved her breastbone with the broad stroke of his tongue.

He nipped and suckled carelessly as her sounds showered upon his ears, rewarding him, egging him on.

He won't leave a single spot left for them to taste.

They'll see him. They'll know his presence.

Maybe then, they might back off on their own.

* * *

He's having a day with the boys. Classes just ended yesterday, so they've got extra time to kill before the holidays.

Him, Shikamaru, Chouji, Kiba, Sai and Sasuke-teme are crammed into a booth at a local Okonomiyaki place, and the chef is flipping their cabbage pancake right now.

When they finally have some privacy, Naruto can't stop the next words from vomiting out of his mouth.

"Hey, uh, what kind of girl gives you a handjob in a movie theatre?"

Kiba choked on his food. Shikamaru's water dribbled from his mouth. And Sasuke's chopsticks rolled free from his grip.

Chouji and Sai kept eating.

"Who cares about 'what'," Kiba laughed in shock. "I wanna know who."

"And why." Shikamaru added.

Sasuke remained speechless. The stoic and unreachable Uchiha looked as if he'd just discovered that the life he was living before was merely a simulation and he's just now woken up.

"I dunno if I should say, but she's got this long, really thick black hair. It's kind of inky, like it looks blue under direct light. And she's really pale, and she's already a G-cup-" Naruto paused when Sasuke made a weird sound beside him. "Anyways, she's also got white eyes."

Sasuke's elbow skidded into his plate, nearly knocking over his glass of water onto the griddle.

Everyone's expressions turned ashen but Sai's.

Sai kept on eating.

"What?" Naruto asked.

The boys resumed normal conversation, as if this whole moment never happened.

Why is it the one time he has something manly to report, they won't indulge him?

"It really happened." Naruto said, interrupting Kiba's story about Akamaru adopting a kitten found in his backyard. The boys glanced at him uneasily.

"Yeah, that's really cool. Good for you, man," Kiba said, with Shikamaru providing a deadpan thumbs up. "Anyways-"

Naruto slapped the table as he stood, but they all made an effort not to look at him.

"You guys don't believe me?!"

"Are you going to start shouting to the whole restaurant that you got your meat jerked in a movie theatre? Huh?" Shikamaru whisper-yelled.

Red-faced, Naruto scrambled passed Sasuke and Sai's knees to get out of the booth. He hurried out of the restaurant.

What he didn't hear were his friends talking back and forth about him, expressing their shared weariness towards him, expressing concern that he stay emotionally ten forever.

It's not like they don't like him anymore.

But he's become extremely embarrassing to keep around.

"Anyone wanna talk about how it's Hyuuga Hinata who gave him a handy?" Shikamaru said. A chorus of muttering rose up.

Kiba pressed his cheek against the flat of his fingers and frowned. "Man, I dunno whether to believe it or not. She's always liked him, but she's gotta be too timid for that."

"Wasn't his godfather getting by on writing dirty novels?" Sai said.

"Naruto stopped bringing him to Parent-Teacher meetings after fifth grade. Sensei accused him of groping her, but the only witness would've been Naruto himself." Chouji added.

Shikamaru laced his fingers behind his head and reclined in the booth. He gazed up at the rafters of the restaurant, the fluorescent lights blinding him if he looked on directly.

"God, what a pain. I hate to be the one to say it, but… maybe he's turning into him," Shikamaru paused as Sasuke got up and excused himself, and they watched him go. Not that they cared for him much either. Once Sasuke was out of earshot, he amended his statement. "Or he's trying too hard to be like that player. Can you really picture Hinata doing that voluntarily?"

The booth hummed with a resounding 'no'.

* * *

Where could he put it?

Naruto circled his room several times with his phone in hand, peering over his TV, inspecting the arrangement of books on his desk, only to struggle to find a natural spot.

He didn't want her catching on before she came over.

There was a knock on his door.

Sweat broke out along his temple. He whipped around, gaze falling upon his hamper and he hoped that would be good enough.

He opened up his camera app, slid the option to video and pressed the big red button. He lined the camera lense against the handle holes in his hamper and piled clothes atop his phone.

Heart slamming in his chest, he forced his breath to steady before answering her.

* * *

Naruto opened the door, and _Wow, that's not fair._

She kept her bangs swept to side, which really was flattering on her and seemed to look better and better each time he saw her. But she also had her thick hair pulled back in a high ponytail.

Today she seemed more like her usual self: a thick maxi dress paired with a chunky maxi sweater.

Such a tease.

* * *

She's taken off her skirt. She's sitting on his bed, her legs spread wide open, and her face is pinker than he's ever seen.

Naruto is kneeling on the floor. He's burning up, straining against his jeans, and he can't take his eyes off his cotton-wrapped present. He's had sex education already, few years ago in fact, but Hinata is giving him an intimate refresher.

Her breath fills the room like cautious whispers before she moves her panties to the side with trembling fingers, and his breath catches. He surges towards the bed, his face inches from her pretty privates.

Naruto's nose scrunched up in thought.

He knows she cleaned up, that's not the problem here.

It's how tight she looks for someone who supposedly sees a ton of guys.

"D,D,Don't j,just stare." She whined.

He glanced up into her hazy humiliation and he smirked at her. Warmth like triumph pounded in his chest. Until he reminded himself she must act this way around the others too.

"How should I touch you?"

She tucked her chin to her neck and looked away. In the direction of his hamper.

_Fuck._

Naruto scrambled on the bed, his right hand cupped her chin and he tugged her into a hard kiss. After sucking her lungs out, he realized that his hardness was flush against her nethers and he froze.

"Wh,What was that for?" She whispered, her gaze glued to the space between them.

"I,I dunno. Did… did you like it?"

Her nose wrinkled. "I,I think… S,Sakura would e,enjoy a kiss like that. B,But n,not right away, o,or anything. T,Too intense."

That wasn't answering his question at all.

Naruto cleared his throat. "So, uh… it's uh, kinda hurting down there. C,Can I uhm, rub one out against you?"

Her eyes widened but she still would not look up at him.

"Y,You'll ruin m,my sweater…"

Naruto snickered. "Then just take your sweater off."

Her face deepened red. "Th,This is t,too soon…"

Was she going off of a script? How the hell can she say that?

It's got to be part of the thrill. Like role play. She's meek and submissive, but secretly she wants it.

Naruto reaches for the hem of her sweater and begins to lift it up. She doesn't stop him. He doesn't know whether to be thrilled or disappointed.

The sweater comes off and is placed aside in his bed. She tries to shield the fading marks along her breasts, but he pulls her hands away by her wrists. He inspects each one as if he'll identify a mark he had not made. He smiles when he's sure that his canvas has gone untouched.

Naruto slides off the bed to his feet. He's fumbling to undo his pants, heated apprehension sending him into a slight panic.

He doesn't really want to only grind against her. He wants to put it in. His phone will capture the glorious moment and if anyone doubts him, he'll have proof. They'll know he's a real man.

He's tripping to get one leg out when suddenly he gets a phone call.

And it rings.

He hears Hinata shift on the bed.

And it rings.

He head inches to the right, just enough to catch her in his periphery. She's reaching for her sweater and searching the room for the source of the noise, muffled but distinct.

He feels like if he moves he's dead.

The ringing stops.

But then it starts up again.

Hinata hurries off the bed. Naruto slides his leg back into his pants.

The phone call already interrupted the recording anyways.

He slumps down on the bed, head hanging between his knees and his hands folded over his head.

He's fucking dead.

He knows Hinata found it once his ringtone pierced his ears.

She silenced the call.

He doesn't know how it was. Spammer, maybe. It doesn't matter.

He hears her nails click along his screen. A wet sigh shudders from her mouth, and he can feel her wet disappointment about to leak from his eyes.

He can't breathe.

Then she deposits his phone back into his hamper like it was trash.

She reaches for her thick stockings along the bed and begins to redress herself.

His Adam's apple bobs in his throat.

She's slipping on her skirt, determined to never utter a word to him. He can't look at her. He can't watch her go through the motions again, of packing up just to leave him.

She has to have a ton of questions.

Even though he really did this, she has to be wondering if he was really the type. Maybe she can't believe it herself. Maybe later she'll find a reason to forgive him.

He glances at her in hope.

She's closed off, as if that phone call had been the cue telling her the money had been wired into her bank after she got done sleeping with an inmate.

He swears life really hates him.

He'll suffocate in the miasma of her judgment if this continues. So he breaks the silence.

"Hinata-"

"How serious are you about Sakura?"

He struggles to answer. His mouth opens and closes but he has nothing to say.

He doesn't know.

Sakura is great, but… but what?

He doesn't know.

Maybe he isn't all that serious about her after all.

But she doesn't want to hear that.

She'll end this right here. She'll cut him off and she'll never support him from the background. She'll hate him for being so fickle. For being wrong for her friend.

"I,I'm… very serious." His stomach feels like lead. If he can have Sakura, then in a way he can still have Hinata. If he treats Sakura right and makes her happy, Hinata will love him.

She just won't ever be in love with him.

"I don't believe you."

His eyes snapped open. His breathing quickens. He can't let it.

"Well, that… y'know, that… that was for research purposes. I,I was thinking I should… continue my godfather's legacy."

"What?"

If he bashed his head against his desk and passed out, would she forget all about this when he woke up?

"He uh, he wrote… some stuff… and it required research."

She hesitates in the silence.

"... You can't do that, either. That w,would be terribly humiliating f,for Sakura."

His hands slid scalp and down his face, his fingers pressing into his aching eyes. "Well, what'm I supposed to do? Should I not mention him at all? The perverted old coot who bothered to raise me; Should I be ashamed of him and be glad he's dead?"

"D,Don't def,flect, Naruto-kun. You were _recording_!" Her voice cracked like a whip and he flinched.

"I told them you gave me a handjob! They didn't believe me!"

He lifted his head.

She stared at him, her despair and her disgust pouring down her ruddy cheeks in fat streams. Her lips curled over her white teeth.

Naruto pushed off from the bed. "Hinata…" He reached for her but she flinched away.

Her arms came up around her middle and she backed away.

Why does it always play out like this?

Why does he keep giving her reasons to hate him?

She backed out of his bedroom and made her escape.

His hands fell back to his side, his jaw shifted side to side. "Don't tell Sakura, okay?" He followed her out of the bedroom and into the hallway. "It's not going to be like that with her, I swear!" He watched her slip her shoes on. It always played out this way. But she still came back. Because she felt she had to. For her friend. Not for him. "Hinata…"

She wouldn't look at him, even though she stood there ready to hear him out, she still wouldn't look.

"When I said help me get a date on the twenty-fifth… I didn't mean this one," His head dropped, his fists curled at his sides. "And maybe not even the one next year," Even if it's a lie, he hopes she accepts. She's the first girl to ever devote her time into him. The first girl to believe he could be something. He's gone and disappointed her, but he wants to believe she was right, and wants to help her believe she was right. "'Cause I think there's no way I'll be ready in time, y'know? Also… also, you gotta show more than how to impress her. You gotta help me know how to keep her! So that way…" The floor held his gaze and he wasn't sure if she'd give him a second chance. "That way this doesn't play out with her, too."

He's wondering who called.

It's all their fault, but… he really shouldn't have done it in the first place.

He's used to not getting what he wants, he's also used to not getting what he needs. He's used to it all, but that doesn't mean he accepts it.

If he can have this one thing, just keep this one thing, he thinks he can keep going.

He doesn't want her to leave no matter how bad it gets.

Her shoes clap against the linoleum. She turns the knob. He hears the deadbolt slide out of the lock.

She's going to shut him out. Back inside this airless box.

Because he's not her problem.

She can find someone who won't piss her off and ruin her day.

"I'll think about it." She said before she left.

That was the first time Hinata ever kept the ball in her court.

* * *

When Naruto returns to his room, he heads straight for his hamper.

His phone is ringing again.

He grabs the device, and a single name screams back at him.

Sasuke's calling.

Naruto swipes to answer.

He puts his phone to his ear.

"... Hello?"

**"You're the worst kind of person, you know that?"**

* * *

Hinata's back is flush against the wall. She's at the foot of the stairs left from the lobby, tucked behind a column beside a trashcan. The built in ashtray is harboring dozens of squashed cigarette butts like paper maggots born out of rotten fruit, and the stale stench is potent.

Still, this is far too important for her to walk away from.

She can hear Sasuke on the phone with Naruto.

She knows, because Sasuke was the one who interrupted them.

* * *

**"You're petty as fuck. It doesn't matter if I've earned it or want it, whatever it is you'll try to take it for yourself."**

Naruto clenched his phone. Against his better judgment, he was about to piss Sasuke off more. "What are you talking about?" But he really had to ask. Because he had no idea where this was coming from.

When has he taken anything away from Sasuke?

**"Those nights when your old man went MIA cuz he was out boozing in the red light district, whose attention did you take away from me? My brother's,"**

Naruto's eyes widened as those days trickled back into his mind.

But he never even noticed.

He thought Itachi was nice like that.

**"Or how about the games I leant you cuz your old man couldn't be bothered to spoil you?"**

Naruto perked up and turned towards his messy dresser, the stacks of video game cartridges staring back at him like a filthy past due reminder.

**"All of a sudden everyone started going to your crappy apartment for Game Night. I tried to take them back, but you told everyone they were your games, and they thought I was stealing. I bought those myself!"**

"F,Fine! Then take them back! No one visits me anymore anyways!"

**"That's because they're wising up! They don't like you anymore!"**

Naruto cradled his forehead in his open palm. He could feel himself retreating inside, like Sasuke was swinging a lit torch around, threatening bodily harm. He doesn't want it to be true, but he's been having a hard time lately fitting in. Everyone keeps changing and he can't keep up.

"... Shut up."

**"You're too oblivious to read the air, so no, I'm going to keep talking. Remember in middle school when I joined the Chess club with Shikamaru? I had to quit because of you. Because you were too stupid to learn the game but you _had_ to be wherever I was, and ruin whatever fun I was having,"**

"I don't remember…"

**"Yeah, what else don't you remember? How about the reason why Hinata is in love with you in the first place?"**

"What?"

No, that's not right. No. She's more popular than Sakura, like a hot commodity. She lets guys use her and she loves it. She loves what they do to her, but she doesn't love them. And she especially doesn't love him.

**"I was about to step in and stop her bullies, but you ruined that too. Fuck, you couldn't even land a glancing blow! How uncool is that?! And ever since she thinks you walk on fucking water! And you know what's worse?! You still get your ass kicked! You can't defend yourself and you can't defend her! You piss me off!"**

He doesn't remember.

He really doesn't remember.

He had no idea.

He always reacted to his surroundings. He never put much forethought into anything. Maybe he did know Sasuke was about to do something about those jerks, and he ran in ahead of him, because he always had to be first.

He thought their friendship soured because Sasuke had changed.

Instead it was inevitable.

**"I thought if I became the coolest guy, she'd finally forget about you and look at me, but no. You get to be the most pathetic person around and everyone loves you. Thank god that shit's only temporary."**

Naruto clutched the pain thrumming in his chest. In the tepid warmth of his apartment, he felt icy cold from his toes to his face.

 _Temporary._ Yeah, he doesn't like temporary. He doesn't want to think about his bonds with people having expiration dates, but it keeps happening.

First his parents, not that he ever knew them. Then Jiraiya. Now Sasuke.

Even if he gets a girlfriend, that's tenuous too.

"So… you've always liked Hinata?"

**"Since day one."**

Naruto winced. He wanted to ask why the hell Sasuke never tried harder, or was never up front with Hinata about his feelings. Was it really because he got in the way early on?

"What about Sakura?"

**"An unfortunate casualty."**

Right. Because he openly liked Sakura.

"But Hinata is in love with me, right?" Naruto's gaze burned a hole in the middle distance. The one answer, the one true answer had been staring him right in the face and he never ever considered it.

He really is fucking stupid.

**"... Knowing you, she won't be for long."**

He just got caught pulling a scumbag move, so sure, maybe she was beginning to open up her eyes about him.

Maybe she was beginning to reconsider how much of her efforts he really deserved, if any, just like their friends. Maybe she'll fall out of love with him by tomorrow. Maybe between now and tomorrow is enough time to make good with her again.

Naruto reclined in his bed and contemplated the surface of his ceiling. He wonders how he'll do it. She's long gone, but he knows which school she attends. It'd be better to show up in person, to apologize from the bottom of his heart, and then what?

"Actually, I like Hinata, too, so-"

**"You greedy piece-of-shi-!"**

"If you're really serious about Hinata, you should know that the only way to her heart is through Sakura. Who she's promised to me. But I already know about you two, so I think you're stuck. If you treat Sakura right, that's the only way Hinata will warm up to you. But the thing is, she'll only ever consider you a friend."

Sasuke went silent on the other end of the line.

And Naruto went in for the mic drop.

"Hey, since you seem to know Hinata so well, how should I ask her out?"

 _ **Blip blip**_ , Sasuke hung up on him.

Naruto brought his phone away from his ear to rest against his stomach.

Hinata is actually in love with him.

Sakura's been an excuse for her this whole time.

Was she really just messing with him when she said likes being used? Her pussy looked like it hasn't been touched once.

Heat steadily bloomed behind his face. It radiated outwards, pooling down into his loins. His hand reached up and cover his mouth as the realization throbbed like his revived hard-on.

He was the first to look at her down there, wasn't he?

He was her first everything, wasn't he?

She loves him that much. Only he was worthy. No one else.

His throat hums with a suppressed giggle.

Somehow, he's found someone just as selfish, self-sacrificial and crazy as he is, and the warmth of her existence, of their potential, balloons and swells inside him, threatening to overwhelm him, shake him, blur him.

It's a first for him, to feel this strongly about anyone.

Despair and adoration all at once, and her name is Hinata.

He really, really likes someone like her.

He hopes she still likes him, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, not the ending I intended. I actually wanted to show the Twenty-fifth date and show a positive change between Hinata and Sakura, but somehow I couldn't make it there. I had also intended to imply that Hinata managed to sleep with Naruto. This was supposed to be a fluffy, flirty fic with an escalation of physical stuff, but then it turned into some abstract psycho-emotional shit as usuaaal. I don't hate this or anything, it just literally went off the rails. ( x u x )
> 
> Update: The sequel is steadily forming in my mind. If any of you know the mangas "Goodnight, Punpun" or "The Flowers of Evil", they're both Seinen coming of age stories and I'm leaning towards "Flowers" in content and tone. The way this ended pretty much invites that sort of direction, so I hope it's something that interests you. These are not fluffy manga, not by a long shot.


End file.
